Duque Long

Dew heiligenschein

2006-04-26T14:45:00.000-04:00

Dew heiligenschein. Dew dew dew da da da da. That is all I am going to say to you.

Dew heiligenschein

blogiola

2006-04-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

http://www.blogiola.com/index.php Interesting you flip thru blogs. And rate them. Then I they remember them. I think.

blogiola

Encyclopedia Astronautica Apollo LEM's descent engine

2006-04-26T14:20:00.000-04:00

Encyclopedia Astronautica

Encyclopedia Astronautica Apollo LEM's descent engine

lm = lunar module

what is lem? What is the e?

The moon landing was fake

2006-04-26T14:14:00.000-04:00

The moon landing was fake!!!

The moon landing was fake !

fishmuse

2006-04-26T14:08:00.000-04:00

Some interesting links. Cylon. Heh

fishmuse.blogspot.com

toasty foaming paint fights fires

2006-04-26T14:01:00.000-04:00

Er ah. Science blog. Yay.

Thank you:

foaming paint fights fires

Get hot. Release gas. Make foam char. Char. heh heh toasty

the things that eat my tomato plants

2006-04-26T13:58:00.000-04:00

Q. Every time we put pepper or tomato plants in the ground, something breaks them off at the soil line.

A. That something is cut worms. Place aluminum-foil collars two inches high around the stems, making sure that one inch is below the soil. Mulch with oak leaf mulch.

Thank you

Vegetable & Herb Gardening: FAQs 101

Cell Phone Gun hoax or threat

2006-03-23T14:49:00.000-05:00

Got this in an email. I don't like flying as it is. My freind is legit but he didn't have a soruce. Could be a hoax. Hope so. Course i am not really a cell phone fan so take the damb things off of planes i don really care. Oh there is a video with the email but lbogger wouldn't let me upload it. shrug

Sent: Friday, March 10, 2006 20:53
To: undisclosed-recipients
Subject: Re: Cell Phone Gun

This is a real story and the video confirms what is happening in Europe. Please watch it.

Subject: Cell Phone Gun

Read this and then watch the video clip.

If you get asked to test your cell phone at the airport, this is the reason.
Because cell phone guns have been discovered. The attached video clip shows how cell phone guns operate. These phones are not in the U.S. yet, but they are in use overseas. Beneath the digital phone face is a .22 caliber handgun capable of firing four rounds in rapid succession using the standard telephone keypad.

European law enforcement officials are stunned by the discovery of these deadly decoys. They say phone guns are changing the rules of engagement in Europe . "We find it very alarming," says Wolfgang Dicke of the German Police Union . "It means police will have to draw their weapons whenever a person being checked reaches for their cell phone."

Although cell phone guns have not reached the U.S. yet, the FBI, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the U.S. Customs Service say they have been briefed on the new weapons. All U.S. ports of entry have been alerted.

These covert weapons were first discovered in October of 2000 when Dutch police came upon a cache during a drug raid in Amsterdam.

In another recent incident, a Croatian gun dealer was caught attempting to smuggle a shipment through Slovenia into Western Europe. Police say both shipments are believed to have originated in Yugoslavia! .. Interpol sent a warning to law enforcement agencies around the world.

"If you didn't know they were guns, you would think they were cell phones,"said Ari Zandbergen, a spokesperson for the Amsterdam police. "Only when you have one in your hand do you realize that they are heavier than a regular cell phone."

Be patient if security asks to look at your cell phone or turn it on to show
that it works. They have a good reason!
See the attached video clip

Hidden Comments Registered Users

2006-03-23T14:41:00.000-05:00

Note to self:

Your comments are set up for this: Hidden Comments Registered Users

jibber jabber stats google search adsense paranoia

2006-03-23T14:11:00.000-05:00

I read somewhere never look at your webiste stats. You will spend all day there.

* Remember Mr. T? Stop the ibber jabber fool. I used to have some great sites on Mr. T. parodies. > to do

* Blogger need categories or I need to make a table of contents.

* Okay I did the I am not a s.pammer thing. This adsense thing is making me a little paranoid. I don't want to be stalked by some hacker because I popped up in the engines. Bloggers got a business to run so I will go with it. Great blog service.

* Here is what they write

Your blog requires word verification
Blogger's spam-prevention robots have detected that your blog has characteristics of a spam blog. (What's a spam blog?) Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this false positive.

Before we can turn off mandatory word verification on your posts we'll need to have a human review your blog and verify that it is not a spam blog. Please fill out the form below to get a review.

Find out more about how Blogger is fighting spam blogs.

Remove word verification from posts
Word Verification:
Type the characters you see in the picture below.

Request Received
We have received your request for a review to verify that your blog is not a spam blog. Someone will look over your blog and respond to my email
Find out more about how Blogger is fighting spam blogs.

* Did I write about Richard Rainwater? Was he the peak oil guy? What is a technorati?

http://technorati.com/search/richard%20rainwater I think I am going to add that google serach your site thing.

* Was i drinking? "pebble beach golf tips" here pebble beach golf tips I have never played pebble beach but my site is certainly more interesting than the guestbook above it. Hmm i will have to go play and post some local tips. light bulb~!

* My last DMOZ whine. I saw them in that stats and I guess an editor was removing me from the their to list. I applied for weblogs personal three years ago. rolls eyes

Well here is a personal weblog in dmoz where I applied http://www.damnhellasskings.com/ I don't think a comment is needed.

* Msn job descriptions > job definitions smile

* "yankee fire" investigation Is homeland security stalking me? I would like to write more but now I am not so sure Is that a black helicopter?

* Speaking of fans of aviation someone came here from here lockheed-p-38 Lightning rocked I would like to see a P-38 fly. Should I turn on comments?

Good on Boosh Omar Chilling

2006-03-23T13:29:00.000-05:00

Added: <<< Look I added a photo. Blogger rocks. Heh heh. Cool hat purple hat Omar. My Mom said that he reminded her of me when I was in my twenties. Moms, can only sons love them? lol
Anyhow it is an ap photo don't know who.

I wish GWB would take a stronger stance of the those afghan killing a convert to Christianity but this is pretty cool me thingks:

Gadhafi to Take Part in Democracy Panel

By PETER JAMES SPIELMANN, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - In the latest step in Libya's international rehabilitation, longtime leader Moammar Gadhafi is taking on questions about democracy and academic freedom.

A Columbia University conference billed as the first major meeting of American and Libyan academics and officials in 25 years climaxes Thursday with Gadhafi's participation via live video feed in a panel discussion on the prospect for the spread of democracy.

The dean of Columbia's School of International and Public Affairs, Lisa Anderson, was to moderate the panel discussion and put questions to Gadhafi, who came to power in a military coup in 1969. Although Libya is no longer viewed by the West as a rogue state on a par with North Korea and Iran, Gadhafi could face tough questions about riots last month that left 11 Libyans dead.

Libya was demonized for years by the United States as a sponsor of various terrorist groups as far-flung as the Irish Republican Army and Palestinian factions, and for trying to undermine pro-Western governments in Africa.

Libya was also blamed for the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that killed 270 people, and a West Berlin disco bombing that killed two American soldiers in 1986. President Ronald Reagan ordered airstrikes on Tripoli and Benghazi in Libya 10 days after the disco bombing; Libya said the raids killed 41 people.

In 2003, Libya reached a $2.7 billion settlement with families of the victims of the Pan Am bombing, and the next year paid $170 million compensation to the families of the 170 victims of the 1989 bombing of a French UTA passenger jet.

Relations between Washington and Tripoli have improved since Libya's decision in the wake of the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003 to dismantle its clandestine nuclear weapons program under international inspection.

In June 2004, the United States opened a liaison office in Tripoli, 24 years after Washington closed its embassy in the oil-rich North African country.

But Libya's repressive one-party rule, Gadhafi's personality cult and spasms of violence could prompt tough questions from the Columbia academic audience.

It was widely reported that the Libyan riots last month were in reaction to the publication of cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that Muslims consider blasphemous.

Gadhafi told Italy's SkyTG24 Monday that more protests against Italian citizens and interests in Libya were "to be expected." He said the protests were not related to the cartoons, but in reaction to hard feelings over Italian rule of all or parts of Libya from 1911 to 1943.

The two-day Columbia conference was billed as an opportunity to "reintroduce Libya's academic community to the United States," and was co-sponsored by SIPA and the Center for Strategic and International Studies in the United States and al- Fatah University and the Green Book Center in Libya. The Green Book is Gadhafi's guidebook of political philosophy.

Among the listed participants are Assistant Secretary of State for Near Eastern Affairs David Welch, former U.S. Ambassador Richard Murphy and al-Fatah University's associate professor of international relations, Youssef M. Giuma Sawani.

The State Department, in its latest worldwide survey of human rights practices, rated Libya "poor" but said it had shown some improvement. It said Libya had a large number of political prisoners, and severely limits freedom of speech and the press.

In a January op-ed piece in the International Herald Tribune, Human Rights Watch director Kenneth Roth said: "Still, Libya remains a closed and tightly controlled society. There is no independent press or civil society, and there are no political groups that are not officially sanctioned."

"On pain of imprisonment, Libyans are not allowed to criticize the government, its political system, or its leader," Roth said.

wait can i do this?

Is green fuel getting the run around

2006-03-23T13:21:00.000-05:00

Are people doing cost benefit analysis of oil and fuel like they are doing with this greenfuel attempts? I am almost attempted to believe the Big Oil conspiracy theories.

Carbon cloud over a green fuel
By Mark Clayton, Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor
Thu Mar 23 2006

Late last year in Goldfield, Iowa, a refinery began pumping out a stream of ethanol, which supporters call the clean, renewable fuel of the future.

There's just one twist: The plant is burning 300 tons of coal a day to turn corn into ethanol - the first US plant of its kind to use coal instead of cleaner natural gas.

An hour south of Goldfield, another coal-fired ethanol plant is under construction in Nevada, Iowa. At least three other such refineries are being built in Montana, North Dakota, and Minnesota.

The trend, which is expected to continue, has left even some ethanol boosters scratching their heads. Should coal become a standard for 30 to 40 ethanol plants under construction - and 150 others on the drawing boards - it would undermine the environmental reasoning for switching to ethanol in the first place, environmentalists say.

"If the biofuels industry is going to depend on coal, and these conversion plants release their CO2 to the air, it could undo the global warming benefits of using ethanol," says David Hawkins, climate director for the Natural Resources Defense Council in Washington.

The reason for the shift is purely economic. Natural gas has long been the ethanol industry's fuel of choice. But with natural gas prices soaring, talk of coal power for new ethanol plants and retrofitting existing refineries for coal is growing, observers say.

"It just made great economic sense to use coal," says Brad Davis, general manager of the Gold-Eagle Cooperative that manages the Corn LP plant, which is farmer and investor owned. "Clean coal" technology, he adds, helps the Goldfield refinery easily meet pollution limits - and coal power saves millions in fuel costs.

Yet even the nearly clear vapor from the refinery contains as much as double the carbon emissions of a refinery using natural gas, climate experts say. So if coal-fired ethanol catches on, is it still the "clean, renewable fuel" the state's favorite son, Sen. Tom Harkin (news, bio, voting record) likes to call it?

Such questions arrive amid boom times for America's ethanol industry.

With 97 ethanol refineries pumping out some 4 billion gallons of ethanol, the industry expects to double over the next six years by adding another 4.4 billion gallons of capacity per year. Tax breaks as well as concerns about energy security, the environment, and higher gasoline prices are all driving ethanol forward.

The Goldfield refinery, and the other four coal-fired ethanol plants under construction are called "dry mill" operations, because of the process they use. The industry has in the past used coal in a few much larger "wet mill" operations that produce ethanol and a raft of other products. But dry mills are the wave of the future, industry experts say. It's their shift to coal that's causing the concern.

plants slated for Midwest, West
Scores of these new ethanol refineries are expected to be built across the Midwest and West by the end of the decade, and many could soon be burning coal in some form to turn corn into ethanol, industry analysts say.

"It's very likely that coal will be the fuel of choice for most of these new ethanol plants," says Robert McIlvaine, president of a Northfield, Ill., information services company that has compiled a database of nearly 200 ethanol plants now under construction or in planning and development.

If all 190 plants on Mr. McIlvaine's list were built and used coal, motorists would not reduce America's greenhouse gas emissions, according to an in-depth analysis of the subject to date by scientists at University of California at Berkeley, published in Science magazine in January.

Of course, many coal-fired ethanol plants on the drawing board will not be built, Mr. McIlvaine says. Others in planning for years may still choose natural gas as fuel to meet air pollution requirements in some states.

Other variations on ethanol-coal are emerging in Goodland, Kan., and Underwood, N.D., where ethanol plants are being built next to coal-burning power plants to use waste heat. Efficient, but still coal.

That could spell trouble for ethanol's renewable image.

"If your goal is to reduce costs, then coal is a good idea," says Robert Brown, director of Iowa State University's office of biorenewables. "If the goal is a renewable fuel, coal is a bad idea. When greenhouse-gas emissions go up, environmentalists take note. Then you've got a problem."

Ethanol industry officials say coal-power is just one possibility the industry is pursuing.

"I think some in the environmental community won't be all that warm and fuzzy about [coal-fired ethanol]," says Bob Dinneen, president of the Renewable Fuels Association, the national trade association for the US fuel-ethanol industry. "It's fair to say there's a trend away from natural gas, but coal is just one approach. Other technologies are part of the mix, too."

He cites, for instance, a new ethanol plant in Nebraska strategically located by a feed lot, using methane from cattle waste to fire ethanol boilers. Another new plant in Minnesota uses biomass gasification, using plant material as its fuel.

Coal for now, wood in the future
Coal may end up being merely a transitional fuel in the run-up to cellulosic ethanol, including switch grass and wood, says another RFA spokesman. While ethanol production today primarily uses only the corn kernel, cellulosic will use the whole plant.

Cellulosic ethanol, mentioned by President Bush in his State of the Union speech, could turn the tide on coal, too, by burning plant dregs in the boiler with no need for coal at all.

"It's a fact that ethanol is a renewable fuel today and it will stay that way," says Matt Hartwig, an RFA spokesman. "Any greenhouse-gas emissions that come out the tailpipe are recycled by the corn plant. I don't expect the limited number of coal-fired plants out there to change that."

Still, Hawkins insists that if ethanol is made using coal, the carbon dioxide should be captured and injected into the ground.

"We favor getting ethanol production up," Hawkins says. "But we obviously favor a cleaner process. We need large cuts in global warming emissions from transportation. It's not good enough for ethanol to simply be no worse than gasoline."

Convert From Muslim Die

2006-03-23T13:14:00.000-05:00

I like to keep it light but I got a study this. I just odn't want to believe this about Isalm. Apostasy is a death sentence. I read some bad things about the Jewish Bible - what is it? Torah. Muslim men need to step off and fix this.

Afghan convert controversy mirrors cartoons row By Tom Heneghan, Religion Editor
He is from Reuters right?

ROME (Reuters) - The strong Western response to a threatened death sentence for an Afghan convert to Christianity looks something like a mirror image of the Muslim reaction to the Prophet Mohammad caricatures printed in the European press.

There have been no riots or sackings of Afghan embassies, unlike the violence that marked the uproar in Muslim countries after the Danish cartoons were published, but the shock and mutual incomprehension expressed in both cases are similar.

The difference lies in the issues at stake. In the cartoons row, Muslims stressed the sanctity of Mohammad, whom they say nobody -- even non-Muslims -- can criticize. The subtext was resentment against perceived Western prejudice against Islam.

Now, Western governments and societies are speaking out for religious freedom and against the death penalty. The fact many Western troops now help defend the Afghan government against al Qaeda and Taliban remnants heightened the outrage in the West.

Amin Farhang, the Afghan economy minister who lived in exile in Germany for 22 years before returning to Kabul in 2001, saw the parallels and warned against any escalation.

"Following the row about the cartoons, which has cost so many lives, we should look calmly at things and work for a fair solution," he told the German daily Koelner Stadt-Anzeiger.

But he stressed the gulf between western-style freedoms and traditional Muslim societies that consider conversion from Islam to be an insult punishable by death. " Afghanistan cannot switch suddenly from one extreme to the other," he said.

FREEDOM A NORM, NOT AN EXTREME

The uproar sparked off by the case of Abdur Rahman, now on trial in Kabul for renouncing Islam, showed that Westerners saw religious freedom as a norm and not an extreme.

"It is deeply troubling that a country we helped liberate would hold a person to account because they chose a particular religion over another," President George Bush said on Wednesday.

Some critics suggested NATO states withdraw their troops from Afghanistan. A few even suggested that Western troops kidnap Abdur Rahman and bring him along when they leave.

Among the strongest critics are evangelical Christians in the United States, a core constituency that has backed Bush so far on the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

"How can we congratulate ourselves for liberating Afghanistan from the rule of jihadists only to be ruled by Islamists who kill Christians?" Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council asked.

Another leading figure, Charles Colson, said: "If we can't guarantee fundamental religious freedoms in the countries where we establish democratic reforms, then the whole credibility of our foreign policy is thrown into serious question."

Canada's top Anglican prelate, Archbishop Andrew Hutchinson, said of the Islamic punishment for apostasy that Rahman faces: "I'm absolutely horrified to think that this kind of fanatical literalism would be applied in this day and age."

BITTER COMMENTARIES

European newspapers ran bitter commentaries. Munich's Sueddeutsche Zeitung said Kabul was "tolerant like the Taliban." Die Welt in Berlin wrote that Afghanistan faced "the dark ages of barbarity" if it executed Rahman.

"We have a duty not to cooperate in bringing back the burning of heretics at the stake," the Dutch daily Trouw wrote. Milan's Corriere della Sera said Western states helping Afghanistan should launch a movement to reform Islam there.

In Denmark, Jyllands-Posten, the daily that first ran the Mohammad cartoons, quoted Syrian-born member of parliament Naser Khader saying: "If necessary, Danish troops should liberate Abdur Rahman and Denmark should offer him asylum.

"This matter underlines that sharia (Islamic law) must be fought wherever it exists," he said.

France's Marianne magazine made clear Western critics might not be satisfied if the Kabul court arranges to avoid the death sentence by declaring Rahman insane and unfit for trial.

"If he is not tried, he will probably end up in a psychiatric hospital, which for a man of sound mind is sometimes worse than death," it commented.

Some Ad Psycho is stalking me

2006-03-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

I put adsense on my blog and now I got the word verification thing.

I got hits from my profile in blogger. The tinfoil in me says I popped up on a

search engine results and some competitor is trying to take me out and clicked the flagged this.

Nutjobs.

Maybe they have some kind of search thing at blogger, i don't know.

I am going to hit the please review my babbling post thing to get it off the list.

insert rolleyes

Two Cut n Pastes for Chef SouthPark

2006-03-23T13:05:00.000-05:00

Don't watch the show that much but I saw the one on sceintology and Tom Hanks. Well i saw the one with Cahtolic priests, taht was way over the line but oddly erm funnny?

Saw these in the search news to read later:

Chef Gets Big Send-Off on 'South Park'

By DAVID BAUDER, A.P Television Writer
Wed Mar 22, 11:16
NEW YORK - Isaac Hayes' Chef character got a true "South Park" send-off Wednesday night — seemingly killed off but mourned as a jolly old guy whose brains were scrambled by the "Super Adventure Club."

The thinly disguised satire continued the show's feud with Scientologists in its 10th season premiere on Comedy Central.

The soul singer has voiced the Chef character in "South Park" since 1997, but left recently because of what he called the animated show's religious "intolerance and bigotry." Founders Matt Stone and Trey Parker said Hayes, a Scientologist, was mad that "South Park" mocked the religion in an episode last November.

A rerun of that Scientology episode was mysteriously pulled off the air last week amid published reports that actor Tom Cruise, another Scientologist, had used his clout to bury it. A Cruise spokesman denied that.

Hayes didn't participate in making Wednesday's episode; the character's lines appeared to be patched together through tapes of past dialogue.

Chef repeatedly said he wanted to "make sweet love" to the "South Park" elementary school kids — it seems the "Super Adventure Club" turns its members into child molesters.

The children try to rescue Chef, but in the end he turns to head back to the "Super Adventure Club" — until he falls off a bridge onto rocks, is burned, stabbed and mauled by a mountain lion and bear.

Then he apparently dies.

"A lot of us don't agree with the choices the Chef has made in the last few days," one of the children eulogizes him at a funeral. "Some of us feel hurt and confused that he seemed to turn his back on us. But we can't let the events of the past few weeks take away the memories of how Chef made us smile.

"We shouldn't be mad at Chef for leaving us," the eulogy concludes. "We should be mad at that fruity little club for scrambling his brains."

The door for Hayes' return wasn't completely closed. In the show's final scene, members of the "Super Adventure Club" try to revive Chef, and it's not clear he's really dead.

and I think this is e online

"South Park" Roasts Chef, Literally By Joal Ryan

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have buried the hatchet with -- sorry, into-- Isaac Hayes.

On Wednesday's South Park 10th season premiere, Hayes' Chef character was struck by lightning, impaled, shot, mauled by a mountain lion, eaten by a grizzly bear, and, oh, yes, accused of being a child molester.

The episode was the capper to Hayes' Mar. 13 resignation. South Park chieftains Parker and Stone apparently cranked out the inaptly named "The Return of Chef!" as an answer to the defection.

In an off-screen twist, doubt has been cast as to whether Hayes really meant to depart the animated series. FoxNews.com columnist Roger Friedman reported Monday that the 63-year-old "Shaft" soul great suffered a stroke on Jan. 17, and "is in no condition to quit anything." (At the time, his publicist said Hayes was being hospitalized for "exhaustion.")

"My sources say that someone quit [the show] for him," Friedman wrote.

In his statement, Hayes, a Scientologist, said he could no longer support a show that disrespected religion. The move was widely seen as a response to a Scientology-specific South Park episode that first aired last November. (A rerun of the show, "Trapped in the Closet," was abruptly pulled from Comedy Central's schedule last week. Tom Cruise, a Scientologist, and a "Closet" parody target, denied flexing his superstar muscle to keep the episode off the air.)

Thanks to some likely manipulation of old sound bites ("suck on my chocolate salty balls") and songs snippets ("make love..."), Hayes was heard in Wednesday's opener. But Parker and Stone got in the last words.

And for the record, not one of Parker and Stone's words was "Scientology."

In the completely made-up story, Chef is "brainwashed" by an organization of child molesters called the "Super Adventure Club." In order to cure Chef, Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Kenny take their friend to a psychiatrist, a frowned-upon profession among Scientologists.

In the end, Chef dies a million Kenny deaths, only to live on, sort of, as a Darth Vader version of himself.

At his funeral, Kyle urges South Park residents to remember Chef as he was, before the brainwashing. If there is to be anger, he says, don't direct it at the beloved cafeteria worker.

Rather, says Kyle, "we should be mad at the fruity little club for scrambling his brain."

Dmoz Corruption

2006-03-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

Have you heard these rumors? You can google it to read about it. I have no idea. I just saw this in my stats http://editors.dmoz.org/editors/editunrev.cgi?site=1624433&cat=Computers/Internet/On_the_Web/Weblogs/Personal/D and thought dmoz might be adding me. Not. I guess on of the editors took me off some to do list.
Did I apply to "D" for my first name? lol

Billionaire Warns World Oil Shortage Coming

2006-02-26T03:08:00.000-05:00

peak oil oil shortage heating oil gasoline treatment

This guy is a billionaire huh? Monday, December 19, 2005 4:35 PM

MoneyNews from NewsMax.com

Billionaire Warns World Oil Shortage Coming. Prepare Now.

Billionaire Richard Rainwater has made his fortune by foreseeing a crisis and knowing how to profit from it.

Now he foresees the biggest crisis yet for the U.S. economy - the steady dwindling of oil supplies.

Americans are "in the kind of trouble people shouldn't find themselves in," the 61-year-old investor tells Fortune magazine.

Rainwater, number 112 on Forbes magazine's list of the 400 Richest Americans, warns that an "economic tsunami" is about to strike the global economy as the world runs out of oil.

He also notes that a coalition of communist and Islamic states may decide to stop selling oil to the U.S., and that food shortages could soon become a problem in America.

And he cautions: "It's not raving. I promise I am not a kook."

For sure, Rainwater is no kook. He first came to prominence as the chief investment strategist for the Bass family beginning in the 1970s before striking out on his own.

In the mid-1990s he saw panic selling in Houston real estate and bought millions of square feet - properties that are now selling for three times what he paid for them.

Later in the decade, when investors were pouring money into technology stocks and oil was cheap, he foresaw that oil prices would rise and invested heavily in oil stocks and futures - investments that have paid off handsomely.

Now Rainwater is so concerned about the looming energy crisis that he has some $500 million of his $2.5 billion fortune in cash, more than ever before, Fortune reports - and his wife, a former executive at Chemical Bank, has taken to calling him "Dr. Doom."

"I'm long oil and I'm liquid," he said. "I've put myself in a position that if the end of the world came tomorrow I'd kind of be prepared . . .

"Now there's the opportunity to do something based on a shortage of natural resources. Can you make money? Well, yeah."

One way is to stay long in domestic oil, he suggests.

What worries Rainwater is that "peak oil" theorists believe global oil production is at or near its historic ceiling and will begin a long, steady decline - at the same time that worldwide oil consumption has risen from 55 million barrels a day in 1988 to more than 80 million today.

Those theorists "worry that America is not ready for the downturn, for skyrocketing prices and even shortages," Fortune reports.

Rainwater shares those worries.

"What concerns him most is the conflict that he thinks an oil shortage will precipitate," according to Fortune.

"What happens when people get blindsided by prices rocketing past any level they have contemplated?"

Fortune cites several strategies that Rainwater could adopt to capitalize on global shortages:

Currencies. Avoid nations with few natural resources and large populations. Sell the Japanese yen, for example, and buy Canadian dollars.
Oil and gas. The best bets are major oil companies with significant domestic reserves.

Food. Rainwater believes the next "big play" may be in agricultural products, where prices have yet to climb.

Hmm buy food? Commodities are a tough play. Note that newsmax disagrees.

Editor's Notes:

An oil shortage? NewsMax's Financial Intelligence Report accurately called the oil price rise in April of 2004 and disagrees with Rainwater. Profit from the coming oil bust and get the full report

Interesting Jobs Good Pay

2006-02-26T02:51:00.000-05:00

Food stylist Sommelier Flavorist Park Naturalist

Yeah that is the ticket.

10 Interesting Jobs That Pay More Than You Think

by Careerbuilder.com
Ever wonder how some people make a living? Like the videographer at your friend's wedding or the wine steward at your favorite upscale restaurant -- how much could they be earning? Here are 10 interesting careers that pay more than you think and are guaranteed to put the enjoyment back in employment.

"Don't feel bound by the conventions of the industry and the definition of your occupation," advises Kathleen Green, editor of the Bureau of Labor Statistics' Occupational Outlook Quarterly online, which highlights employment trends and gives information on various occupations. "A degree is not a life sentence," Green says. Think outside the box and put your traditional degree or experience to use in a non-traditional job.

Many of these opportunities, while they may require specific training, certification or educational requirements, can build on experience you may already have or offer part-time freelance opportunities.

1. Food Stylist
Working with advertising firms and photographers, these artists can make anywhere from $150 a day for junior stylists, to $850 a day for experienced artists. No specific educational or industry requirements are necessary, just the creative ability to make food look attractive and delicious.

2. Makeup Artist
If you've always had a gift for glam and were born with cosmetic karma, you may want to consider this artistic avenue. Working with modeling agencies and photographers, make up artists can earn anywhere from $400 to $600 a day and much more if you make it big on the international scene. This could be a good freelance and networking opportunity for a photographer or actor.

3. Sommelier
Do you wow your friends at dinner parties with your knowledge of grape varieties and the subtle nuances of different vintages? Then you can put those talents to work as a sommelier. Sommeliers are experts at matching wine with food to enhance the food's flavor. Earning certification is the only requirement to becoming a sommelier, where salaries average at $28K for limited experience, and $80K-160K if you continue your certification to earn the designation of Master Sommelier.

4. Park Naturalist
Did your family trip to Yellowstone leave you yearning for the great outdoors? Consider developing and conducting programs that inform the public of historical, natural and scientific features of national, state, or local parks as a park naturalist. You'll need a bachelor's degree and two to four years of experience in the field or in a related area, but you could earn between $45,000 and $56,000 a year.

5. Greeting Card Writer
If you're toiling away in the public relations department of your company, you can put those composition skills to work as a greeting card writer. These professionals average $60 a card, but as much as $100 to $150 per card for experienced writers in large card companies. This could make a great freelance opportunity for a writer who wants to show her creative side.

6. Clown
Looking for a weekend outlet to relieve the stresses of the work week? Consider clowning around for children's parties, corporate events, local fun fairs or children's hospitals. Your knack for silliness can earn you anywhere from $40 to $150 an hour for private shows.

7. Flavorist
Have a chemistry background, but not impressed with the pharmaceutical, environmental or energy industries' offerings of chemical research positions? Maybe you should look to the food industry. Flavorists, or flavor chemists, blend chemicals to create tastes and smells for various foods and can earn $55,000 and up annually.

8. Pilot
If you'd like to parlay your flying hobby into a career, there are plenty of options to help your dream take wing. Think agricultural, corporate, charter or ferry pilot. These jobs require a four-year college degree, a pilot's license and some special training. Salaries for pilots vary with the size of the aircraft, but generally start at $20K and go upwards of $100,000 a year, depending on the organization you fly for and the number of hours you put in.

9. Yacht Captain
Are you a boating enthusiast? Turn your love of the high seas into a lucrative career. Captains of 60- to 100-foot vessels can earn between $45K and $85K. Living large pays, with captains of 100- to 200-foot yachts cruising at around $62,500 to $130,500 a year.

10. Videographer
Like looking behind the lens of a camera? A videographer maintains and operates video equipment, edits video footage, and stays current with new technology. You could work for a video production firm, agency or a corporation and make as much as $47,000 to $62,000 annually.

Shuttle Repair Kit

2005-07-26T09:29:00.000-04:00

About time:

Shuttle now carries 'repair kit'

AMES RESEARCHERS TEST PATCHING MATERIAL FOR SPACE SHUTTLE DISCOVERY'S SURFACE

By Jessica Portner

Mercury News

For space shuttle astronauts, computer crashes and broken gyroscopes during flight have long been fixable glitches.

Now, on the Discovery flight, set to lift off as soon as this week, the crew will -- for the first time -- have a sturdy repair kit handy to plug holes in case the spacecraft's wings are punctured in transit.

Engineers at NASA/Ames Research Center gave the kits a rigorous workout, using a superheated tube called an Arc Jet to see if these patches can take the heat. Loose insulating foam that detached and pierced a hole in space shuttle Columbia's left wing caused the Feb. 1, 2003, disaster in which seven astronauts died. NASA experts say this could help fix a similar problem should it happen again.

``If you have a flat tire, you have a spare,'' Ernie Fretter, a mechanical engineer involved in the tests, said last week in the Arc Jet workshop. Before, if the shuttle hit a snag, crew members would be stuck or have to be rescued at the space station. ``You can't stuff space suits in the hole.''

The Arc Jet team's engineers and computer scientists are among 100 people at Ames who will be on call to help if something goes wrong with Discovery's mission. It is the first time since the National Aeronautics and Space Administration began launching space shuttles that Ames workers have been on deck to help during a flight, NASA officials say.

Other Ames employees will be running supercomputer simulations of the launch and also checking results of shuttle's aerodynamic behavior in the wind tunnel to see how parts operate in flight.

Discovery's launch, the first return to orbit since the Columbia disaster, has been delayed due to a fuel gauge malfunction.

Fretter said the Arc Jet engineers are thrilled to be involved.

``The other shuttle missions we watched on TV,'' said Fretter. ``Now, from the interns to the engineers, there is more anxiety that it works fine. But we are ready to do what it takes.''

The mending kit was developed by ATK Thiokol, an aerospace contractor based in Brigham City, Utah. To make sure their tools can withstand heat of re-entry, Ames engineers relied on the Arc Jet machine -- a 15-foot-long box of ``contained lightning'' with enough power to continuously heat 10,000 homes. The powerful machine has been used to test heat shields used on many spacecraft, such as the recently deployed Mars rovers and the old Viking probes that explored Venus. Inside, coils of cooling hoses adjust the temperature, which can heat materials up to 3,000 degrees Fahrenheit -- the temperature shuttles can reach as they re-enter Earth's atmosphere.

Into the giant flamethrower, the engineers dangle two instruments: a 4-inch-long crack repair kit made of reinforced carbon-carbon -- a dense, charcoal-like material resistant to very high temperatures that has been used on tips of ballistic missiles.

The cracked surface can be caulked by astronauts if tiny fissures appear. The other device is a flat, circular patch seven inches in diameter, which astronauts can use to plug a puncture in the spacecraft's nose or wing. Once aloft, Discovery's crew is set to conduct tests inside the cargo bay to see how well they can wield the tools in the vacuum of space.

Frank Hui, one of the Arc Jet aerospace engineers who has been running these experiments -- more than 70 tests in one year -- said his work feels personal to him. He knows Steve Robinson, a crew member on Discovery who used to work at Ames. Also, he was an intern at Ames during the 1986 Challenger disaster when seven astronauts died during a launch failure.

``It was horrendous,'' Hui said last week as he watched the Arc Jet's orange flame blast materials to be used on a future NASA flight to Mars. ``They are our buddies up there. We want to see them home and walking on the ground.''

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contact Jessica Portner at jportner@mercurynews.com or (650) 688-7505.

Fetch Me A Sandwich Arnold

2005-05-12T09:17:00.000-04:00

New Robots Clone Themselves
Michael Schirber
LiveScience Staff Writer
LiveScience.com

Mimicking reproduction in living organisms, researchers have built a simple self-replicating robot out of automated blocks.

Machines that can copy themselves have been built before, but the earlier experiments were limited to two dimensions or confined to a track. Hod Lipson and his collaborators at Cornell University have designed modular cubes, called molecubes, that can assume a range of three-dimensional shapes.

"People think of robots as durable metallic machines, and the only way to make them last longer is to make them more sturdy," Lipson said.

Lipson and his colleagues are exploring a different paradigm, in which robots become more robust through self-repair.

"Animals survive longer than robots because they can repair themselves," Lipson explained in a telephone interview.

The new robots are simpler and less autonomous than biological organisms. But the scientists argue that self-replication is not a yes-or-no proposition, but rather a spectrum based on complexity and independence.

"Some viruses can reproduce, but only in very specific environments," Lipson said. "Other organisms, like mammals, are less restricted."

The robots are composed of four-inch-wide cubes that attach and release each other with electromagnets. The cubes are cut in half along a diagonal plane, allowing the robot to swivel 90 degrees.

Each module carries a microprocessor with the step-by-step instructions for replication. Sensors tell the robot when a new cube has been attached at one end, and power is supplied through floor plates.

To help the robot make a copy of itself, the scientists placed new cubes at "feeding" stations. One of the challenges was designing modules that would not topple during motion. The initial robot relies on help from its unfinished "clone" in the construction process.

In experiments, a four-cube-high robot copied itself in two and a half minutes. More complex shapes are possible in principle, but Lipson said that there are practical difficulties in making robots with more cubes.

Currently, the robots have no practical use, but the research team said that it would be fairly easy to add other modules with grippers or a camera.

Self-replicating robots could be valuable for space exploration and in hazardous environments, where they could take care of themselves without human help. One robot could even build out of its own components a new type of robot for a specific task, Lipson said.

The robots and their capabilities are reported in the May 12 issue of the journal Nature. A video of one cloning itself can be seen in the link.

Robot Related Stories

Machine Would Make Anything
for the Home

Real Robots: VOTE for Your
Favorite

New Robots Walk Like Humans

U.S. Open Soccer ... for
Robots

Visit LiveScience.com for more
daily news, views and scientific inquiry with an original, provocative
point of view. LiveScience reports amazing, real world breakthroughs,
made simple and stimulating for people on the go. Check out our
collection of Image
Galleries, Interactive Features, Trivia and
more.

Its The End Of The World As We Know It

2005-05-12T09:12:00.000-04:00

And I Feel Fine (?)

Thanks Reuters and Yahoo News Feed. Here comes the Terminator:

U.S. scientists create self-replicating robot

Wed May 11, 2005 1:19 PM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Self-replicating robots are no longer the stuff of science fiction.

Scientists at the Cornell University in Ithaca, New York have created small robots that can build copies of themselves.

Each robot consists of several 10-cm (4 inch) cubes which have identical machinery, electromagnets to attach and detach to each other and a computer program for replication. The robots can bend and pick up and stack the cubes.

"Although the machines we have created are still simple compared with biological self-reproduction, they demonstrate that mechanical self-reproduction is possible and not unique to biology," Hod Lipson said in a report in the science journal Nature on Wednesday.

He and his team believe the design principle could be used to make long term, self-repairing robots that could mend themselves and be used in hazardous situations and on space flights.

The experimental robots, which don't do anything else except make copies of themselves, are powered through contacts on the surface of the table and transfer data through their faces. They self-replicate by using additional modules placed in special "feeding locations."

The machines duplicate themselves by bending over and putting their top cube on the table. Then they bend again, pick up another cube, put it on top of the first and repeat the entire process. As the new robot begins to take shape it helps to build itself.

"The four-module robot was able to construct a replica in 2.5 minutes by lifting and assembling cubes from the feeding locations," said Lipson.

Wi-Fi network adapter apple

2005-05-11T11:25:00.000-04:00

Wi fi network adapter? I am not sure what the technical term for this wi-fi thing is but it sounds like it will clear that nest of snakes out behind me pc. Wait this is for apples?

This sleek, palm-sized doodad lets you set up a Wi-Fi network in your home simply by plugging it into a wall outlet and inserting a cable or two into its sockets. You then can chuck the clunky coax broadband cable and use the airwaves to link your laptop (with an AirPort card) to a cable modem or DSL line. It lets you get Internet access from most anywhere in your home (even the bathtub), zap documents to a printer and play songs from your iTunes library on your old stereo. Installation is simpler and more elegant than any computer setup you are likely to encounter, though for this lame user it took a panicked call to an Apple wizard. His first order sufficed: "Let's start by unplugging your cable modem and plugging it back in again." When in doubt, reboot. Now if only Apple would take care of some missing links. My iPod music player still must use a cable umbilical cord to latch on to my laptop. --Dennis Kneale

www.apple.com

high performance headphones ear phones

2005-05-11T11:19:00.000-04:00

Won't Get Fooled Again! No no! That is a sound intense song. Excellent hit the lottery toy for... me.

My whole life I've been desperately searching for a pair of buds that could deliver both brilliant sound and a comfortable fit. Last year I discovered Ultimate Ears. Favorites of pros like Aerosmith and Jimmy Buffett, Ultimate Ears are custom-fitted to my ears. After I ordered a set, for $550, an audiologist was dispatched to my office to create impressions of each ear, a painless ten-minute process completed by filling them with a cool green silicone. A week later a small metal box arrived with what looked like really slick hearing aids, engraved with my initials on each bud, blue on the left and red on the right. I slipped them in and, because the fit was so seamless, immediately the office went silent. I plugged them into my computer and started The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again." It was as if I were in the room with the band. Ultimate Ears are perfect for aspiring audiophiles bent on hearing every layer of a song, or just the average listener looking for peak performance consistently. --Matthew Miller

www.ultimateears.com

zoo pooh for fuel

2005-05-03T11:17:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Sit down comic has pooh thing today. This is the second he posted... Warren Buffet invested in a company that can take any carbon to light crude oil. I need to watch its stock. Where did I put that company name? I found it pre blogging.

Animal Waste Studied As Energy Source

SYRACUSE, N.Y. - The Rosamond Gifford Zoo is looking to become the first zoo in the nation to be powered by its own animal waste — particularly the prodigious piles produced by its pachyderms.

The zoo — world prominent for its Asian elephant breeding program — is studying how feasible it would be to switch to animal waste as an alternative energy source to reduce its $400,000 annual heating and electricity bill.

The zoo's six elephants produce more than 1,000 pounds of dung per day, said Zoo Director Anne Baker.

"Zoos are about conservation and stemming the loss of animals and habitat," Baker said. "But conservation also is about how people use natural resources. This is an opportunity to give visitors the whole picture."

The zoo sends most of its animal waste to a local farm, where it is composted. The zoo spends about $10,000 a year on animal-waste disposal, but Baker noted it also requires the use of additional fossil fuels for transportation.

"This would be just such a good idea on so many levels," she said.

Although other zoos have come up with creative ways to reuse their elephant manure — including using it to make stationery — Rosamond Gifford appears to be the first to propose using it for power, according to Jane Ballentine, a spokeswoman for the American Zoo and Aquarium Association.

Baker said the idea of using animal waste for energy first arose several years ago when she was talking to local officials about the potential for creating a more environmentally friendly and self-sustaining zoo.

Because the elephants eat mostly hay, they are the ideal waste producers for the project, Baker said. Additionally, they are inefficient digesters, which makes their feces higher in energy content, she said.

The zoo also will look at using the manure from its domestic farm animals, its other hoof stock, such as its bison and caribou, and even its lions and tigers, she said. Depending on the process, the zoo animal waste could be used to produce methane or hydrogen for powering a fuel cell or generator.

In the United States, a number of farms have used animal waste to produce power, so the technology is available to apply at the zoo, said John Fox of Homeland Energy Resources Development, a New York City-based renewable energy developer assisting with the study.

But there are questions to be answered to know whether it can be worthwhile, he said.

The study will start by evaluating the energy-producing potential of all the animals' dung. Another important question, said Fox, is determining just how much animal waste the zoo produces.

___

On the Net:

Rosamond Gifford Zoo: http://www.rosamondgiffordzoo.org

American Zoo and Aquarium Association: http://www.aza.org

Using differential equations vs dog butlery

2005-05-03T11:09:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Differential equations. Remember them? Still have not used them. I should have
studied dog butlery. Another one sent by Sit Down Comic.

Man gets the poop on outsourcing

DELMAR, N.Y. - Computer programmer Steve Relles has the poop on what to do when your job is outsourced to India.

Relles, one of a rising number of Americans seeking new opportunities as their work shifts to countries with cheaper labor, has spent the past year making his living scooping up dog droppings as the "Delmar Dog Butler."

"My parents paid for me to get a (degree) in math and now I am a pooper scooper," Relles, a 42-year-old married father of two told Reuters. "I can clean four to five yards in a hour if they are close together."

Relles, who lost his computer programming job about three years ago, got the idea of cleaning dog dirt from people's back yards from Mark Booth, a friend in Buffalo, New York.

Relles has over 100 clients who pay $10 each for a once-a-week cleaning of their yard.

Relles competes for business with another local company called "Scoopy Do." Similar outfits have sprung up across America, including Petbutler.net, which operates in Ohio.

In the United States, there are about 63 million dogs, each producing about 23 "presents" per week, which if left can be unsafe for children and pets.

Relles says his business is growing by word of mouth and that most of his clients are women who either don't have the time or desire to pick up the droppings.

"St. Bernard (dogs) are my favorite customers since they poop in large piles which are easy to find," Relles said.

His "scooper" is a converted ice scrapper duct-taped to a ski pole. He flicks the poop into a dust pan lined with a plastic bag, then loads the waste into a large garbage can which he takes to the dump when full.

"It sure beats computer programming because it's flexible, and I get to be outside," he said.

I Dont Like Big Burgers

2005-05-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Those triple patty ones? No way. 5 to 6 bites. Greasy? Greasy is okay but little to none absorbed by bun. Sit Down Comic sent me this:

Pa. Eatery Offers New 15-Pound Burger

CLEARFIELD, Pa. - The burger war is growing. Literally. Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, which lost its crown as the home of the world's biggest burger earlier this year, is now offering a new burger that weighs a whopping 15 pounds.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dubbed the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, the burger comes with 10.5 pounds of ground beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard and banana peppers — and a bun.

It costs $30.

"It can feed a family of 10," said Denny Liegey Sr., the restaurant's owner.

Denny's Beer Barrel Pub had offered a 6-pound burger — with 5 pounds of toppings.

In February, a 100-pound female college student became the first to eat the burger within the three-hour time limit. Kate Stelnick, of Princeton, N.J., was awarded a special certificate, a T-shirt and other prizes and Leigey picked up the $23.95 tab for the burger.

One month later, the Clinton Station Diner in Clinton, N.J., introduced a 12.5-pound burger dubbed Zeus.

So Liegey responded, and the Belly Buster was born.

Over the weekend, four men took the challenge, but couldn't get through the entire burger. They opted for doggie bags, instead.

"It's a little too much for me to handle," said Steve Hepburn, of Clearfield. "It's like trying to eat half a cow."

A Real Hobbit question mark

2005-05-02T03:52:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

We have got the Shire Sam. How do they know it was a kid?

Museum unveils 'hobbit' remains

The museum director inspects the replica Homo floresiensis skull
People in Oxfordshire are getting a chance to see first hand a discovery which archaeologists say "rewrites our knowledge of human evolution".
A replica of the skull of the Homo floresiensis - dubbed "the hobbit" - is on display at the University Museum of Natural History in Oxford.

The skull proved the existence of a one-metre-tall species that lived in Indonesia about 12,000 years ago.

The skull will be incorporated into the permanent displays of the museum.

Australian archaeologists unearthed the bones while digging at a site called Liang Bua, one of numerous limestone caves on Flores Island.

The remains of the partial skeleton were found at a depth of 5.9m (19ft).

At first, the researchers thought it was the body of a child. But further investigation revealed otherwise.

THE GIRLS OF STAR TREK

2005-02-05T03:28:00.000-05:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Was YVONNE "Marta" CRAIG the green alien love affair of Captian Kirk?

mmmm JERI "SEVEN OF NINE" RYAN check out young Jeri Lynn on Who's the boss.

MARINA "DEANNA TROI" SIRTIS

GATES "BEVERLEY CRUSHER" McFADDEN

NICHELLE "UHURA" NICHOLS

THE GIRLS OF STAR TREK

cheap rims update

2005-02-05T03:25:00.000-05:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Dan's cheap rims moved to cheap rims. I changed my cheap rims page here > cheap rims

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair

2004-09-30T01:09:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a medical student, I
found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on
the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't
need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if
his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bath-
room changing out of her hospital gown."

McDonalds has lowered

2004-09-30T01:03:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

"McDonald's has lowered the calories in their fries from 610
calories to 540 calories. They're worried about promoting
obesity. So they lowered from 610 to 540 calories. That's like
decreasing the power in the electric chair by 10 volts."
--David Letterman

ultimate paper airplane

2004-09-29T23:51:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Hey! I found a really cool site yesterday that shows you how
to make the ultimate paper airplane. Be prepared to spend
about ten minutes making your first one...the instructions
are a little complicated...but it flies really well.

research team proceeded towards

2004-09-29T23:49:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural
geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being
the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a
large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.

One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining
severe damage to the upper cranial structure; subsequently
the second member of the team performed a self-rotational
translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first
team member.

It will be a while before Jack and Jill head up that hill
for a pail of water again.

HMO account manager

2004-09-29T23:42:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from
one pediatrician's office included the line item "behavior
modification reinforcers."

Fearing that the doctor was engaging in some unapproved,
experimental psychological treatment, she called the
pediatrician's office to inquire, "What on earth are
behavior modification reinforcers?"

"Lollipops," was the reply.

Heywood leads the league

2004-09-29T23:41:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

"Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories,
including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like
a party favor."

--Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle in "Major League"

Huge hangover

2004-09-23T13:44:00.000-04:00

Tony wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Tony looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Tony asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Tony asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh that! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

I pick this up here [ComedyClipsUK] :

From Cracks to Riches

2004-09-17T21:53:00.000-04:00

Convington, La. - George Boudreaux is sitting pretty thanks to his new development, Boudreaux's Butt Paste. The Retired Louisiana pharmacist created a diaper rash cream that started to gain an adult fan base. Boudreaux claimed his product was suited for skin and heat rashes, chapped lips, and even the horrors of jock itch. On ESPN the paste was proposed as an element of the Louisiana State championship football season. But,(no pun intended) now with nation-wide attention Boudreaux's Butt Paste is working on its distribution to Wal-mart, Walgreen's, and Target.

ebay weirdos Hurricane Frances

2004-09-17T21:49:00.000-04:00

MIAMI - During the time of a tragedy, there are always those people who will try to make a profit off of it. It isn't surprising, then, that some individuals are trying to make a buck off the destruction caused by Hurricane Frances in Florida. Over 170 remnants of the storm went up for sale on eBay's Internet auction site on Monday. A Tupperware container filled with wind had a starting bid of a penny. Photos revealed residents running around with containers trying to "catch" the wind. The request by a Longwood resi- dent for someone to purchase parts of an oak tree that fell on his home and car received no bids. Many people in the path of Frances failed to see the humor in the auctions. "This is a disaster," said 77-year-old Gloria Aragona, who was evacuated with her husband from their Palm Bay mobile home. "It's nothing to make money on."

spider venom jones

2004-09-17T21:42:00.000-04:00

SYDNEY, Australia - Prison inmates in Australia are getting desperate for a little reprieve from the everyday bore of prison life. As a result, they have been engaging in a strange, not to mention dangerous, hobby. According to government records, the prisoners have been breeding deadly spiders, milking them for venom and injecting the poison to get high. Four redback spiders were discovered by author- ities in a maximum security jail in New South Wales. The spiders, common in Australia, can kill a child or an older person with just one bite. Officials say the inmates had been diluting the venom before shooting up. This information was revealed by lawmakers who are opposed to the Labor-led government in South Wales.

Airline Blue Smelly Bomb

2004-09-17T21:34:00.000-04:00

Airliner Waste Makes Crash Landing

GRAZ, AUSTRIA - On a lazy Sunday afternoon, a family was met by an unwelcome intruder: an ice chunk from an over passing airliner's toilet flying through the sky. The chunk had broken free from the jet-liner and landed directly into the family's garden. No injuries were reported after the ice made its crash landing. The piece became deeply embedded into the soil in the garden, where the family had been enjoying the sunny afternoon. The police said the 6-inch waste ball definitely came from an airline toilet judging from the blue coloration and the smell. Although the police would not elaborate, if it smells like it, and looks like it, it probably is!

Monopoly money purchase pizza

2004-09-17T21:31:00.000-04:00

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK - A 57-year-old Danish man received a 25-day jail sentence after using his grandchildren's Monopoly money to purchase a pizza. The man said that he had rented two photocopiers to make extra bucks for the game of Finans, a Danish version of classic board game. He claimed that he made a mistake trying to purchase a pizza and ice cream with a phony 500 crown ($80) note. When the court had heard he had been carrying around 57,000 crowns worth he was ordered to go directly to jail. Guess he was not able to pass Go, and probably didn't collect $200. Well, hope-fully he can roll a double.

Only In Rhode Island

2004-09-17T21:27:00.000-04:00

Rhode Island:

In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a tooth-
brush to the same customer on a Sunday.

It is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sunset.

Only In New Jersey

2004-09-17T21:25:00.000-04:00

New Jersey

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless
the customer has a note from his doctor.

It is illegal to slurp soup.

In Trenton, it is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street.

Only In Nevada

2004-09-17T21:23:00.000-04:00

Nevada:

In Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more
than three people other than himself at any one period
during the day.

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kiss-
ing women.

Everyone walking on the streets of Elko is required to wear
a mask.

Johnny Ramone of The Ramones

2004-09-17T21:12:00.000-04:00

Johnny Ramone of 'The Ramones' Dies at 55

Thu Sep 16,10:06 AM ET 2004

LOS ANGELES - Johnny Ramone, guitarist and co-founder of the seminal punk band "The Ramones" that influenced a generation of rockers, has died. He was 55.
Musician Johnny Ramone Dies at 55

Johnny Ramone of 'The Ramones' Dies at 55

Ramone, who had been fighting a five-year battle with prostate cancer, died in his sleep Wednesday afternoon at his Los Angeles home surrounded by friends and family, said the band's longtime artistic director Arturo Vega.

"He was the guy with a strategy. He was the guy who not only looked after the band's interest but he also was their defender," Vega said in a telephone interview from New York.

Ramone, whose birth name is John Cummings, had been hospitalized in June at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

Johnny Ramone was one of the original members of the struggling Ramones, whose hit songs "I wanna be sedated" and "Blitzkrieg Bop," among others, earned them an induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2002.

Johnny Ramone co-founded "The Ramones" in 1974 in New York along with singer Joey Ramone, bassist DeeDee Ramone and drummer Tommy Ramone, who is the only surviving member of the original band. All four band members had different last names, but took the common name Ramone.

Joey Ramone, whose real name is Jeff Hyman, died in 2001 of lymphatic cancer. Dee Dee Ramone, whose real name is Douglas Colvin, died from a drug overdose in 2002.

Clad in leather jackets and long black mops of hair, the group started out in legendary New York clubs like CBGB and Max's Kansas City, where they blasted their rapid-fire songs.

Since its debut album in 1976, the band struggled for commercial success, but they left a formidable imprint on the rock genre. Though they never had a Top 40 song, the Ramones influenced scores of followers, including bands such as Green Day and Nirvana.

Even Bruce Springsteen (news) was moved. After seeing the Ramones in Asbury Park, N.J., Springsteen wrote "Hungry Heart" for the band. His manager, however, swayed him to keep the song for himself and it became a hit single.

The band had encounters with other big names, including producer Phil Spector, who collaborated with the band in 1980. During the session, the late bassist Dee Dee Ramone said Spector pulled a gun on the band.

"The Ramones had it rough," said Vega, who's worked with the band for 30 years. "The band almost had to be protected from people who were taking advantage of them. There was never any money made."

Johnny Ramone changed that by demanding more money for performances, but still kept a close watch on the band's budget; Vega recalled how Johnny Ramone would insist that the band drive nonstop between Boston and New York for shows instead of spending the night in a hotel.

In addition to his financial conservatism, the guitarist was politically conservative — the late Ronald Reagan (news - web sites) was Ramone's favorite president, Vega said.

Fans have remained loyal to the Ramones, and the Ramones over the years have been loyal to their fans. In 1979, while shooting scenes for the film "Rock 'n' Roll High School," the Ramones — ignoring the director's order — played a concert-length session for fans who had paid to be extras, Vega said.

"The Ramones never ever lost their image, their aura of being the ultimate underdog, the voice of the angry young man," Vega said.

A tribute concert and cancer research fund-raiser was held Sunday in Los Angeles to celebrate the band's 30th anniversary. It featured performances from Los Angeles punk band X, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Henry Rollins (news) and others.

Along with his wife, Linda Cummings, Johnny Ramone was surrounded at his death by friends, including Pearl Jam rocker Eddie Vedder (news), singer Rob Zombie and others. Other friends who gathered at his Los Angeles home included Lisa Marie Presley (news), Pete Yorn (news), Vincent Gallo (news) and Talia Shire.

He is survived by his wife and his mother, Estelle Cummings. He will be cremated during a private ceremony.

I joined blog linker

2004-09-15T15:06:00.000-04:00

It is an interesting blog linking project.

Funny Lawyer Jokes - Methusela

2004-09-15T13:52:00.000-04:00

thnaks http://zestyjokes.com/

A prominent young lawyer died on his way to court, and found himself before the gates of Heaven. When he arrived, a chorus of angels appeared, singing in his honor. St. Peter himself came out to shake his hand. "Mr Jones, " said St. Peter, "it is a great honor to have you here at last. You are the first being to break Methuselah's record for longevity. You have lived 1028 years."

"What are you talking about?" asked the lawyer. "I'm 46."

"46? But aren't you Steven Jones? The lawyer from Brooklyn"

"Yes, " the lawyer answered.

"Let me check the records, " said St Peter. He slapped his hand against his forehead. "Oh, how silly of us. Now I see the mistake! We accidentally calcluated your age by adding up the hours you billed to your clients!"

dem lardbutt gets canned for Commy Kerry

2004-09-15T13:47:00.000-04:00

funny story clean funny joke funny headlines clean jokes

Excellent!

thanks decaturdaily.com
http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/news/040912/sticker.shtml

excerpt

Hey lardbutt it is a free country. Free not to associate with satanic dems.

'She was referring to a flier that she said Gaddis placed in employee envelopes to remind them of the positive impact that President Bush's policies have had on them. An employee at the plant who would not identify himself confirmed the contents of the letter.

Gobbell provided a copy of the flier. It says:

"Just so you will know, because of the Bush tax (cut):

I was able to buy the new Hammer Mill
I was able to finance our receivables
I was able to get the new CAT skid steer
I was able to get the wire cutter
I was able to give you a job"
It further says:

"You got the benefit of the Bush tax cut. Everyone did." '

CBS Circles Toilet Bowl With Dems

2004-09-15T13:43:00.000-04:00

Casting Further Doubt
Document Analysts: CBS News Ignored Concerns About Disputed Bush Military Records
By Brian Ross and Howard Rosenberg
ABCNEWS.com
Sept. 14, 2004— Two of the document experts hired by CBS News say the network ignored concerns they raised prior to the broadcast of a report citing documents that questioned George W. Bush's service in the National Guard during the Vietnam War.

The authenticity of the documents in the report by CBS News' 60 Minutes II has been widely questioned. The documents were allegedly written by Lt. Col. Jerry Killian, who died in 1984.
Emily Will, a veteran document examiner from North Carolina, told ABC News she saw problems right away with the one document CBS hired her to check the weekend before the broadcast.

"I found five significant differences in the questioned handwriting, and I found problems with the printing itself as to whether it could have been produced by a typewriter," she said.

Will says she sent the CBS producer an e-mail message about her concerns and strongly urged the network the night before the broadcast not to use the documents.

"I told them that all the questions I was asking them on Tuesday night, they were going to be asked by hundreds of other document examiners on Thursday if they ran that story," Will said.

But the documents became a key part of the 60 Minutes II broadcast questioning President Bush's National Guard service in 1972. CBS made no mention that any expert disputed the authenticity.

"I did not feel that they wanted to investigate it very deeply," Will told ABC News.

‘I Did Not Authenticate Anything’

A second document examiner hired by CBS News, Linda James of Plano, Texas, also told ABC News she had concerns about the documents and could not authenticate them. She said she expressed her concerns to CBS before the 60 Minutes II broadcast.

"I did not authenticate anything and I don't want it to be misunderstood that I did," James said. "And that's why I have come forth to talk about it because I don't want anybody to think I did authenticate these documents."

A third examiner hired by CBS for its story, Marcel Matley, appeared on CBS Evening News last Friday and was described as saying the document was real.

According to The Washington Post, Matley said he examined only the signature attributed to Killian and made no attempt to authenticate the documents themselves.

At the heart of the dispute is whether any typewriter existed in 1972 that could have produced the documents, with their distinct type style, even spacing, and the tiny raised "th" known as superscript.

Two experts told ABC News today there was no such machine, not even the IBM Selectric Composer, the most advanced typewriter available in 1972.

"This machine is not the culprit for these documents," said software engineer Gerry Kaplan.

Other new questions were raised today by National Guard officials who told ABC News that some of the language and abbreviations in the documents were not in use at the time. continued

My Name Is Sue

2004-09-15T13:41:00.000-04:00

excerpt

He finally sees him in a bar, and brazenly exclaims, "MY NAME IS SUE...HOW DO YOU DO? NOW YOU GONNA DIE!!!" How could you not sing along to that?

let's go crazy prince guitar lick mp3

2004-09-15T13:27:00.000-04:00

heh

excerpt

' Even the most jaded redneck who wouldn't get within a mile next to anything colored purple, would drop his can of SKOAL and shout, "Damn...that boy can play guitar!" '

Catherine "Daisy Duke" Bach Gallery

2004-09-15T13:21:00.000-04:00

Yes! While I do not like this english guy calling here white trailer trash (grr)
I do appreciate the Daisy Duke pics. Uh hooo ahhh.

FMCAT: We Are So Sorry for 9/11

2004-09-15T13:17:00.000-04:00

Muslims against terrorism and extremism

After September 11, many in the Muslim world chose denial and hallucination rather than face up to the sad fact that Muslims perpetrated the 9-11 terrorist acts and that we have an enormous problem with extremism and support for terrorism.

Jesus loves all Muslims. And these folks rock!
http://www.freemuslims.org/

ace of spades

2004-09-15T13:06:00.000-04:00

thanks ace of spades

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/045480.php

excerpt

Bill Burkett, Who Blames Bush for Denying Him Medical Treatment For History of "Nervous Breakdowns," Has Previously Claimed to Have Seen Republican Operatives "Scrubbing" Bush's TANG Files and Throwing Them in a Trashcan; Further Claimed He "Ruffled Through" Bush "Performance Documents" Which Were Sitting in the Trash

Coincidentally Just Happens to Also Be a Source for Jim Moore, Author of Bush's Brain and Bush's War For Reelection, and Dan Rather's Final Interview-Subject During Forged-Documents Defense

None of this is anywhere near conclusive, but it seems to raise interesting questions. All emphases (boldings) which follow are my own unless specifically indicated.

Once again, it is the nocturnal newshawks at Free Republic who made the first catch.

They point to this Newsweek story:

Where did the documents come from? CBS won't say. But the trail pieced together by NEWSWEEK shows that in a sulfurous season like this one, the difference between obscurity and power is small, and anyone can get a hearing. A principal source for CBS's story was Bill Burkett, a disgruntled former Guard officer who lives in Baird, Texas, who says he was present at Guard headquarters in Austin in 1997, when a top aide to the then Governor Bush ordered records sanitized to protect the Boss. Other Guard officials disputed Burkett's account, and the Bush aide involved, Joe Allbaugh, called it "absolute garbage." Burkett may have a motive to make trouble for the powers that be. In 1998, he grew gravely ill on a Guard mission to Panama, causing him to be hospitalized, and he suffered two nervous breakdowns. He unsuccessfully sued for medical expenses.

Still, in theory, Burkett may have had access to any Guard records that, in a friend's words, "didn't make it to the shredder." Fellow officers say he wasn't a crank, but rather a stickler for proper procedure—a classic whistle-blower type. Burkett was impressive enough to cause CBS producer Mary Mapes to fly to Texas to interview him. click link to continue

markie post in bikini

2004-09-15T13:02:00.001-04:00

markie post in bikini!

bless you

Slime Time Live Possible clue to source of CBS Story

2004-09-15T13:02:00.000-04:00

Thanks http://www.freerepublic.com/

Slime Time Live (Possible clue to source of CBS Story)
Newsweek ^ | Sept. 20 issue | Howard Fineman and Michael Isikoff

Posted on 09/12/2004 12:26:09 AM PDT by Anti-Bubba182

Sept. 20 issue - The rap on Mary Beth Cahill, ... is the wrong person to guide the fortunes of Sen. John Kerry during this hypernasty political season. Maybe so, but hers was among the first congratulatory calls Ben Barnes received ....

.....Where did the documents come from? CBS won't say. But the trail pieced together by NEWSWEEK shows that in a sulfurous season like this one, the difference between obscurity and power is small, and anyone can get a hearing. A principal source for CBS's story was Bill Burkett, a disgruntled former Guard officer who lives in Baird, Texas, who says he was present at Guard headquarters in Austin in 1997, when a top aide to the then Governor Bush ordered records sanitized to protect the Boss. Other Guard officials disputed Burkett's account, and the Bush aide involved, Joe Allbaugh, called it "absolute garbage." Burkett may have a motive to make trouble for the powers that be. In 1998, he grew gravely ill on a Guard mission to Panama, causing him to be hospitalized, and he suffered two nervous breakdowns. He unsuccessfully sued for medical expenses.

Still, in theory, Burkett may have had access to any Guard records that, in a friend's words, "didn't make it to the shredder." Fellow officers say he wasn't a crank, but rather a stickler for proper procedure—a classic whistle-blower type. Burkett was impressive enough to cause CBS producer Mary Mapes to fly to Texas to interview him. "There are only a couple of guys I would trust to be as perfectly honest and upfront as Bill," says Dennis Adams, a former Guard colleague. The White House, through Communications Director Dan Bartlett, called Burkett a "discredited source." Indeed, Bush strategists are convinced—or have convinced themselves—that the issue will backfire on its purveyors...

The American Spectator

2004-09-15T11:49:00.000-04:00

http://www.spectator.org/dsp_article.asp?art_id=7099

rathergate

thanks The American Spectator http://www.spectator.org/

Washington Prowler
Here We Go Some More

By The Prowler
Published 9/13/2004 12:08:06 AM

While CBS news anchor Dan Rather can say there is no internal investigation under way over the alleged forged documents used as the foundation for an investigation into President George W. Bush's National Guard service, you wouldn't have been able to tell from the 15 or so 60 Minutes and CBS News" staffers working away feverishly on Friday and Saturday to try to nail down their story .... click link below to continue

Allah Is In The House

2004-09-15T11:33:00.000-04:00

thanks http://allahpundit.com/

excerpt

September 15, 2004
It's hard to believe that things can get any worse for CBS -- but they're about to. I just read an article at Free Republic which I think answers a question people have been asking for the past three days. As you probably know, CBS has produced four newly discovered Killian memos; USA Today, which obtained the memos independently of CBS, has produced six: The same four that CBS has plus two others dated February 2, 1972 and June 24, 1973, respectively. The question is, did CBS have those two additional memos when they first aired their report about the documents last Wednesday on 60 Minutes II? The evidence strongly suggests that they did. ...

Vietnam Vet: I Lied About Atrocities

2004-09-15T11:29:00.000-04:00

fox news rocks
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,132405,00.html
excerpt

Vietnam Vet: I Lied About Atrocities

Wednesday, September 15, 2004•'Fortunate Son' Angle Employed in Bush Bash•Rove: Kerry Tarnished Service of Vietnam Vets •Cheney: No Comment on Kerry Service •Vietnam Attacks Put Kerry in 'Fighting Mood' •Admiral: Kerry Wounded Himself in Vietnam•'Unfit for Command' Takes Aim at Kerry

WASHINGTON — A veteran who testified to John Kerry (search) about atrocities he committed in the Vietnam War (search) is now claiming that the Democratic presidential candidate coerced him to tell tales.

Steven Pitkin, an Army combat veteran, told FOX News that Kerry coached him and others to say they had witnessed war crimes, even after Pitkin told Kerry that he had not.

"Before they started the camera, they told me, 'We need you to speak about the atrocities that happened over there.' The whole company line that I initially came out and said, I was coached to say that over and over again," Pitkin said....

Four Right Wing Wackos

2004-09-15T11:26:00.000-04:00

excerpt http://4rwws.blogspot.com/

Rathergate

So by now, everybody and their brother knows that the memos used by Dan Rather in his wildly partisan attempt to smear President Bush are bogus. Here's what my father and I discussed over a beer -

How in the name of all that is holy did SOMEONE in CBS not pull in a former military member, and have them look the memos over? If you sat my father down and handed him that memo, he would have taken one look at it and tossed it in the trash. Memo For File? Never never NEVER used. CYA? If you were covering your ass in the military, you NEVER announced that fact. And you would NEVER put "CYA" on any piece of paper that you were going to put in someone's record.

Two glaring mistakes that someone with a military background would key on right away. And yet we're supposed to believe that CBS vetted those memos? Yeah, right.

CBS put those memos out in an attempt to hurt President Bush. And they didn't care if the memos were real or not. They also didn't expect people to out them in 12 hours.

Just look at the way Dan Rather reacted to the blogosphere's charge. "How dare you question me! I'm Dan Rather!" 'Ol Danny Boy was so used to people just accepting what he said as the truth that he can't handle any criticism. More to the point, he didn't expect any. Nobody in the old media does, even though people around the country have been waking up to the fact that the old media, by and large, is full of shit. When I read a news story, and then I'm force to look for other reports of it to find out what actually happened, I no longer trust the people putting that news story out. I can see a story on the nightly news, but when I read the accounts of people who were actually there and find out that the news story only contained 25%-50% of the information needed, I no longer trust the media. A perfect example? The anti-war protests before the invasion of Iraq. ...

Contact your local CBS affiliates

2004-09-15T11:22:00.000-04:00

Grass Roots: Contact your local CBS affiliates.

posted by Jeremy Chrysler @ 10:14 PM

If you disagree with CBS's continual stonewalling regarding the Bush National Guard documents, and you want to make CBS hear you, I advise a visit or a phone call to your local CBS affiliate.

They feel your presence much more sharply than does CBS as a whole, and they are much more likely to sympathize. ...

cbs phone numbers emails fax number

2004-09-15T11:21:00.000-04:00

thanks http://www.indcjournal.com/

It's Time
Remember, be POLITE and KEEP IT VERY SHORT. And to those of you that are righties, no deranged ranting about the Democrats or Kerry, or they won't listen to you.

CBS Email Addresses and Phone Numbers

CBS Evening News
212 975-3691 and 202 457-4385
fax 212 975-1893
fax 212-975-1998
evening@cbsnews.com

CBS News
524 West 57th Street
New York, NY 10019
Evening News is same address, Studio 47

Executive Producer: Jim Murphy
Senior Producers: Susan Bean, Ingrid Matthews

Dan Rather
212 975-3691

Senior Broadcast Producer: Lynne Pitts
212 975-2258

60 Minutes II
212 975-6200
fax 212 975-9353
60II@cbsnews.com
Executive Producer Jeffrey Fager

555 West 57th St
New York, NY 10019-2985

CBS Administration:
CEO of CBS: Mel Karmazin 212 975-4321

President CBS Television: Leslie Moonves 323 575-2345

CBS News President: Andrew Heyward 212 975-7825, ajh@cbsnews.com

Senior VP Marcy McGinnis 212 975-5007, mam@cbs.com

UPDATE: Your local affiliates may be the way to go in addition to this; they're much more sensitive to the opinions of their viewers.

Blogging Against Evil - INDC Journal

2004-09-15T11:16:00.000-04:00

excerpt

September 15, 2004
Hey Oliver
The CNN segment in question wasn't about the memos, it was about how internet skeptics broke the story that the memos were forgeries. If you consider the fact that the left-wing bloggers were still defending the memos with amateur and ludicrous typeface analysis, while some of us had already contacted nationally-renowned forensics experts, then you may understand why the skeptics, no matter what their political ideology, were featured in a story about the investigation over documents that are now surely forgeries. They weren't chosen because they were righties, they were chosen because they were right.

And no, it's not "the charges, stupid," it's the fact that a highly trusted media organization passed off fake documents in order to make those charges. Close your eyes, count to ten, breathe deeply, and try to focus your mind on what your reaction might be if John Kerry was accused of disobeying a direct order while in the military, based on fake documents. Now root around a little deeper into the recesses of your reptilian brain and imagine that these charges were true to one degree or another. Now tell me: how you would feel about what the media organization did with those obviously fake documents? Wouldn't it be important? Can you grasp the implications for the well-being of the press and the function of our society as a whole, and how it could be a separate issue that's more important than John Kerry or George Bush?

(Oliver squints, shakes his head and quietly whipsers, "Chimpy McShrubben Bushitler. Halli-halli-halliburton.")

Nevermind, of course you can't. ...

vampires vampire bats

2004-09-05T02:46:00.000-04:00

How long have vampires been changing into bats?

While vampiric shape-shifters go back thousands of years, the particular connection to vampire bats is fairly recent. Vampire bats are only found in Central America and South America, so the Europeans and Asians who originally conceived of these monsters didn't know about them. When European explorers discovered the strange animals, they were soon incorporated into the vampire myth.

Previous post h2 hummer side rails

h2 hummer side rails

2004-09-05T02:40:00.000-04:00

h2 hummer side rails h2 hummer side rails h2 hummer side rails
h2 hummer side rails h2 hummer side rails h2 hummer side rails h2 hummer side rails

What does St. John's wort do

2004-09-05T02:38:00.000-04:00

What does St. John's wort do?

St. John's wort (hypericum perforatum) is a perennial shrubby plant with golden flowers. It is an herbal remedy that some people believe can be used to treat depression and even pain. People with depression are turning to St. John's wort because many of the psychotropic drugs used to treat depression have some severe side effects. The hope is that a medicine derived from a plant will cause fewer problems. It's important to keep in mind that, as with many other herbal supplements, St. John's wort can have an impact on the efficacy of or interact with prescription medications.

Does friction cause electrostatic charges

2004-09-05T02:37:00.000-04:00

Does friction cause electrostatic charges?

Electrostatic charges are not caused by friction. Many assume this to be the case. Rubbing a balloon on your head or dragging your feet on the carpet will build up a charge. Electrostatics and friction are related in that they both are products of adhesion. Rubbing materials together can increase the electrostatic charge because more surface area is being contacted, but friction itself has nothing to do with the charge.

first minimum wage law

2004-09-05T02:36:00.000-04:00

Who had the first minimum wage law?

The first state minimum wage law in the U.S. went into effect in Massachusetts on July 1, 1913. It would be another 25 years before the minimum wage law went into effect nationally.

cows four stomachs

2004-09-05T02:34:00.000-04:00

Do cows really have four stomachs?

No, just four compartments -- A normal cow's stomach has four compartments: the rumen, the recticulum (storage area), the omasum (where water is absorbed), and the abomasum ( the only compartment with digestive juices).

Who is San Francisco named after

2004-09-05T02:33:00.000-04:00

Who is San Francisco named after?

In 1847, the coastal city of Yorba Buena in California changed its name to San Francisco. The city took its new name from St. Francis of Assisi, who is recognized as San Francisco's patron saint.

sea snakes venomous

2004-09-05T02:31:00.000-04:00

Which sea snakes are most venomous?

All of them -- There are some 50 different species of sea snakes, and all of them are venomous. They thrive in abundance along the coast from the Persian Gulf to Japan and around Australia and Melanesia. Their venom is ten times as virulent as that of the cobra. Humans bitten by them have died within two-and-a-half hours.

h2 hummer sidebars

2004-09-05T02:26:00.000-04:00

h2 hummer sidebars h2 hummer sidebars h2 hummer sidebars h2 hummer sidebars h2 hummer sidebars h2 hummer sidebars

black light detect forged paintings

2004-09-05T02:23:00.000-04:00

How is black light used to detect forged paintings?

Appraisers use them to detect forgeries of antiques. Many paints today contain phosphors that will glow under a black light, while most older paints do not contain phosphors. Additionally, aw enforcement officers can use black lights to identify counterfeit money. The United States and many other countries include an invisible fluorescent strip in their larger bills that only shows up under a black light.

whales spray water

2004-09-05T02:21:00.000-04:00

Why do whales spray water when they surface?

Contrary to popular belief, whales do not squirt seawater out of their blowholes. The spout people see is actually caused by exhaled air. Since the exhaled air is typically warmer than the surrounding air at the water's surface, it cools rapidly as it flows out. The water vapor in the air immediately condenses into a liquid, giving the appearance of spraying water.

Which U.S. president largest dog

2004-09-05T02:19:00.000-04:00

Which U.S. president had the largest dog?

The largest and the smallest dogs to live in the White House where both there during the tenure of president James Buchanan. The president had a Newfoundland named Lara. And his niece, Harriet Lane (who served as White House hostess because the president was unmarried), had a tiny toy terrier named Punch.

hummer h2 hood protectors

2004-09-05T02:10:00.000-04:00

hummer h2 hood protectors hummer h2 hood protectors hummer h2 hood protectors hummer h2 hood protectors hummer h2 hood protectors hummer h2 hood protectors

SCUBA tanks

2004-09-05T02:08:00.000-04:00

How long have divers been using SCUBA tanks?

In 1943, the famed oceanographer Jacques Cousteau, along with Emile Gagnan, invented the aqualung, more commonly referred to as SCUBA (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus). SCUBA made divers more mobile and revolutionized exploration of the oceans. Since then, many advances in SCUBA technology have made the equipment easier to use, safer and more affordable, allowing many people to enjoy this fascinating adventure. The Professional Association of Diving Instructors (PADI) says that each year, almost 1-million people get certified for recreational SCUBA diving.

photocopier toner

2004-09-05T02:07:00.000-04:00

How is photocopier toner different from ink?

Toner is sometimes referred to as dry ink, but toner isn't actually ink at all. Ink is a pigmented liquid. Toner is a fine, negatively charged, plastic-based powder. The black color in photocopier toner comes from pigments blended into the plastic particles while they are being made.

Nostradamus predict September 11

2004-09-05T02:02:00.000-04:00

Did Nostradamus predict the September 11 attack on the World Trade Center?

A lot of this interest in this alleged prediction was fueled by a series of e-mail messages. One anonymous message, widely circulated in the United States, claimed that Nostradamus foretold the destruction in some detail. The message included this quatrain:

In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two Brothers torn apart by Chaos,
While the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb.
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning.

Ostensibly, the "two brothers" refers to the twin towers, the "fortress" refers to the Pentagon, the "great leader" refers to President Bush and "the big city" refers to New York. In fact, this quatrain is not the work of Nostradamus -- it is a complete fabrication.

hummer h2 vent shades

2004-09-05T01:58:00.000-04:00

hummer h2 vent shades hummer h2 vent shades hummer h2 vent shades hummer h2 vent shades hummer h2 vent shades hummer h2 vent shades

moissanite jewels gemstones

2004-09-05T01:54:00.000-04:00

What's Moissanite and would you want it in a ring?

In 1893, Nobel Prize-winning French scientist Dr. Henri Moissan discovered minute quantities of a new mineral, natural silicon carbide. The mineral was located in an ancient meteorite found in the Diablo Canyon in Arizona. Later named "moissanite," this mineral's supply was too limited for jewelry use. More than a century later, Cree Technologies developed a process for producing large, single crystals of moissanite. In 1995, a master diamond cutter observed that, if properly cut, the crystals could make a beautiful jewel. Charles & Colvard recognized the mineral's potential. They also realized that in order for the moissanite jewels to be used, they would have to be manufactured -- there is essentially no natural supply for this stone. In 1995, Charles & Colvard partnered with Cree to develop lab-created moissanite gemstones.

mexican radio rodeo

2004-09-05T01:46:00.000-04:00

Ramiro Gurrola of Hawaiian Gardens is one of the best riders, or charros, in Mexican rodeo. But when the chute opened one blistering Sunday this summer, the bull he was riding inexplicably collapsed, like a boxer taking a dive.

Midway through the regional Mexican rodeo championships in Sacramento, Gurrola was in fourth place, fighting a bad streak of charro luck.

The belief in charro luck rules the world of Mexican rodeo, known as charreria. In a distinctly Mexican view of life, talent takes a back seat to destiny. A lazy bull, a slow horse or a rainstorm can defeat even the best-trained cowboy.

Charro luck had foiled Gurrola before. Three years in a row, he'd failed to advance to the charreria world championship in Mexico. Yet each loss had pushed him to practice harder.

The next event that afternoon in Sacramento was las manganas, the most difficult in Mexican rodeo. The cowboy performs rope tricks and then tries to lasso the front legs of a galloping mare. Points are scored for elegance and creativity.

Few cowboys work harder at it than Gurrola, 25. Like a jazz musician, he spends hours a day riffing on his rope, hoping for the accidents and mistakes that lead to new tricks. He watches videos of his rivals. Lying in bed at night, he imagines new ways of making the rope dance.

"If you want to be good at charreria, you have to be good at the rope," he says.

So as he donned his sombrero, shouldered his rope and walked into the arena, Gurrola was losing badly, but he wasn't afraid.

||||||||||||

In the last few years, Southern California has emerged as a center of traditional Mexican rodeo. Leading Mexican American businessmen are sponsoring charro teams and building rodeo arenas. Three trick-roping schools have opened. The number of officially recognized charro teams has nearly doubled, to 65.

California now ranks fourth in the world in the number of sanctioned teams, behind the Mexican states of Jalisco, Hidalgo and the state of Mexico. Most of California's riders are Mexican Americans carrying on a tradition brought here by their immigrant parents.

In 2002, the three best Mexican rodeo teams came to Los Angeles and were whipped by upstart U.S.-born charros.

One of the best of them is Gurrola, a 1996 graduate of Artesia High School. Gurrola is a shy, lanky man who becomes a general when he climbs atop a horse. Though 6 foot 3, he is known in the world of charreria as Ramirito — Little Ramiro — named for his father and his grandfather, patriarch of a charro clan in the Mexican state of Zacatecas.

Gurrola pursues charreria with a puritanical devotion. He avoids beer — rare for a man drenched in rural Mexican culture. He hasn't married because raising a family would cut into his practice time. He can't remember a weekend when he did something unrelated to horses or charreria.

That a boy from the L.A. suburbs could grow up to be one of the charro world's budding stars illustrates how Mexican wide swaths of Southern California have become. It also shows how poor immigrants found in the U.S. the means to realize their rodeo dreams. Here, a sport that in Mexico was the preserve of the privileged has become a measure of blue-collar immigrant success, a new twist on the American Dream.

The lesson in Gurrola's story is that a working man's son can grow up in Southern California to be the great Mexican cowboy his father wanted to be.

A Son's Dream

Gurrola's grandfather was one of the best trick-ropers in Zacatecas. When he had to decide whether to sell a milk cow or a good charro horse, he sold the cow. His son dreamed of being a great charro too. But poverty forced him to leave his horses and head to California in 1971.

Then 17, the son found a job in construction and rented a house in Hawaiian Gardens. Ramiro Gurrola Sr. was part of the first wave of Mexican immigrants to come directly to Los Angeles, bypassing the agricultural work that had drawn earlier generations.

These newcomers were mostly from ranching states in central Mexico, where charreria is almost a religion. It is also expensive. A charro needs a good horse, feed, a saddle and a way to get himself and his horse to the rodeo. Poor rancher youths had to compete on plow horses.

In Southern California, charreria was barely known. But the region's economy offered what Mexico could not: money to buy good horses.

Some people viewed charreria as old-fashioned, even corny, with riders wearing old-style sombreros. But over the years, a charro subculture took root in L.A. Some devotees bought horses before they bought cars. Many seemed to work solely to support their charreria habit. They made sure their children learned ropes and horses. They took them to Mexico to show them authentic charreria.

Few were as consumed by rodeo as Ramiro Gurrola Sr. He saved $5,000 and could buy either a horse or a house. He bought the horse. By the time he bought a house, he had four horses and three children.

Over the years, the elder Gurrola put his savings into saddles, tack and stables for his horses in El Monte and Compton. "If you have a horse, the horse eats first and then you feed yourself," he says.

Ramiro Jr. learned his first rope trick when he was 5. At 12, he rode a bucking mare in one of the Sunday rodeos his father and his friends organized at an arena in El Monte. The horse threw him like a pillow.

Over the next few months, the boy climbed on the horse every Sunday. Each time, the bronco tossed him.

"I knew what to do," he says, "but I couldn't do it."

After weeks of additional practice and coaching from his uncles, he mounted the bronco and stayed on. From that moment, he says, he was hooked.

The 1990s were a time of cultural change for young Mexican Americans in Southern California. Earlier generations had been ashamed of their parents' rural Mexican music, clothes and festivals.

But now they were a majority in many neighborhoods and schools. Though U.S.-born, the immigrants' children unabashedly embraced what their parents had brought from Mexico. Some suburban kids became fanatics for charreria.

At Artesia High, the younger Gurrola did his homework during lunch hour so he would have afternoons free to practice riding and roping. Half a dozen times a year, he went to Mexico to compete. He explained these absences to his teachers by referring to a "family emergency" back home.

"My friends never knew about it," he says of his rodeo obsession. "I used to tell them, but they never paid any attention."

At 15, at a competition in Zacatecas, he won second place in las manganas behind the legendary Andres "Nito" Aceves, who was then transforming Mexican rope style.

Gurrola became unflappable in the ring. Before events, he would slowly walk his horse in circles to calm it as he collected his thoughts. Under pressure during competition, he did not hear the crowd. He also blocked out the gang that controlled his neighborhood in Hawaiian Gardens.

By the time he graduated from high school in 1996, he was becoming one of the region's great charros. He took a job in his uncle's insulation factory in Azusa so he could work mornings and devote his afternoons and Sundays to charreria. He joined a charro team founded by Leonardo Lopez, an L.A. nightclub owner.

In 2002, the team went to Mexico for the National Congress of Charreria, the sport's world championship. Gurrola finished second in las manganas out of 105 competitors. No American has ever finished higher in a single event in the Mexican championships.

In appreciation, the crowd rained hats and gloves down on him.

"It felt good," he says.

His performance was one of several events in 2002 that changed California charreria.

That year, Lopez began managing the Pico Rivera Sports Arena, opening a major venue to the sport.

The rancher youths who had come to California 30 years earlier now owned businesses — the Northgate Gonzalez and La Vallarta supermarket chains, Las Palmas Nursery, Padilla Demolition — and could afford to sponsor charro teams. Some built their own rodeo arenas.

As a boy in Mexico, Juan De la Torre never had the money to compete. He came to California hoping to earn enough to buy a horse. He learned to build houses and became a contractor. Today, De la Torre has his own charro team and an enduring place in charro lore. A Zacatecas band recorded a ballad about him, "King of the Bull-tailers," referring to a charro event at which he excels.

In El Monte and Pico Rivera, in Sylmar, San Fernando, and in parts of Chino, there are communities of rodeo devotees. Mira Loma (pop. 17,000) in Riverside County is inhabited mostly by immigrants from Jalisco and Zacatecas and now has six charro teams. Riders tie up their horses and sit down to eat at Enrique's Seafood, a charro hangout.

A bidding war for the best quarter-horses erupted, doubling the prices over the last five years to as much as $15,000.

The growing popularity of charreria, and the increased political sophistication of Mexican Americans, was evident in their response to a 2002 proposal to outlaw bull-tailing, a rodeo event in which charros pull a running bull to the ground by the tail.

Years before, the state Senate had banned horse-tripping, part of another charreria event. Charros went to Sacramento, dressed in traditional riding outfits. Their representative spoke broken English. They knew no one at the state Capitol. Only two senators voted against the ban on horse-tripping, and the practice remains illegal in California.

"We never had to defend ourselves in the past," says Marcos Franco, director of the U.S. division of the Mexican Charro Federation. "They just ran us over."

But when animal rights activists pushed for the ban on bull-tailing in 2002, hundreds of charro enthusiasts wrote to legislators. They hired a Sacramento lobbyist. By this time, more immigrants had become U.S. citizens and could vote; more legislators were Latino. The bill died.

Charros believe that a ban on bull-tailing would have killed the sport in California. Instead, it was invigorated.

Magic With a Rope

Under the hot sun and his wide sombrero, Ramiro Gurrola stood in the Sacramento arena in July as the manganas event began.

As the mare circled the arena, Gurrola whipped his lasso into a spinning circle, then jumped through it.

At just the right moment, he laid the rope out. It rolled like a hoop into the path of the charging quarter-horse and magically encircled the animal's front legs.

Gurrola accomplished this on four of his six chances — twice on foot and twice while mounted. None of his opponents managed it more than once.

With that, Gurrola came from behind to win the right to contend for the U.S. national Mexican rodeo championship, held today through Monday in New Cuyama, an hour's drive south of Santa Maria. If he wins there, he'll go to Mexico in October for the National Congress of Charreria.

He hopes to overcome the charro luck that in the last few years has kept him from competing in Mexico for Charro of the Year.

"I feel confident, but I don't want to say I'm going to win," he says.

"I never say that because something always goes bad."

who invented professional rodeo

2004-09-05T01:44:00.000-04:00

The professional rodeo when cowboys (and Indians) did wild west event for hire and prizes was invented by...Buffalo Bill Cody. Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show was the first professional rodeo. It features Annie Oakley and...Sitting Bull who became a friend of Buffalo Bill (a man who had previously slaughter thousands of bison for the entertainment of silly Eastern city slickers..from a train). However, long before that the vaqueros in Mexico tested their skills on horsemanship against one another.

Buffalo Bill's birthplace

2004-09-05T01:43:00.000-04:00

Buffalo Bill was from North Platte, Nebraska.

h2 hummer fog lights

2004-09-05T01:28:00.000-04:00

h2 hummer fog lights h2 hummer fog lights h2 hummer fog lights
h2 hummer fog lights h2 hummer fog lights h2 hummer fog lights

h2 hummer grille guards

2004-09-05T01:24:00.000-04:00

h2 hummer grille guards h2 hummer grille guards h2 hummer grille guards h2 hummer grille guards h2 hummer grille guards h2 hummer grille guards

hummer h2 parts

2004-09-05T01:18:00.000-04:00

hummer h2 parts hummer h2 parts hummer h2 parts hummer h2 parts hummer h2 parts

hummer h2 accessories

2004-09-05T01:13:00.000-04:00
hummer h2 accessories hummer h2 accessories hummer h2 accessories hummer h2 accessories hummer h2 accessories hummer h2 accessories

Tiger Roaming Military Base

2004-09-05T01:03:00.000-04:00
Search on for Tiger Roaming Military Base

NEW ORLEANS, La. - A massive search is underway at Fort Polk military base in western Louisiana for a Bengal tiger running loose in the base's pine-covered hills.

Military spokesmen said on Wednesday a team of 100 soldiers, trackers, trappers and police officers using military helicopters and armed with tranquilizer darts had fanned out across the 198,000-acre base in search of the animal.

The tiger is wearing a collar. How it got on the base is a mystery, said Fort Polk spokesman Maj. Ron Elliott.

"We think it belongs to somebody," he said.

The tiger was first spotted on Friday and has been seen at least seven times since, he said.

Capt. Karla Fees, located at a command post for the search, said the hope is to tranquilize and capture the tiger.

"We're doing everything we can to spot it, to find out where he's at so we can get to him and tranquilize him," she said.

"We're advising the local population to be extremely diligent. Don't go wandering out in the woods or anything like that on your own," Elliott said.

C.A.R. Report

2004-08-23T23:51:00.000-04:00
C.A.R. Report
Resources for journalism and computer-assisted reporting.

Yeah

http://schaver.com/2004_03_07_archive.html

scannery lists companies

2004-08-23T23:48:00.000-04:00
http://www.thescannery.com/

gas price site zip code

2004-08-23T23:46:00.000-04:00
I found my area on this one. Sheetz rules for cheapest.

http://www.gaspricewatch.com/usgas_index.asp

What keeps eternal flames lit?

2004-08-23T23:43:00.000-04:00
What keeps eternal flames lit?

http://ask.yahoo.com/ask/20040503.html

Web Site Compare Gasoline Prices

2004-08-23T23:37:00.000-04:00
Jennifer sends:

Web Site Helps Compare Gasoline Prices

Hate it when you fill 'er up and, five minutes later, spot another station selling gas for a nickel a gallon cheaper?

Jason Toews, a 30-year-old computer programmer from the Minneapolis suburbs, hated it even more when he couldn't find an easy way to shop around.

"I even tried calling up some of the stations to find out what their prices are and they usually didn't like to tell you over the phone," he said. "They think it's one of their competitors."

Toews started the nonprofit GasBuddy Organization Inc. four years ago with a friend, chronicling regular unleaded prices in the Twin Cities. The site was so successful that he and co-founder Dustin Coupal, an ophthalmologist, expanded nationwide.

Now, the gasbuddy.com portal links to 173 price comparison Web sites with names like phillygasprices.com, wichitagasprices.com and miamigasprices.com, with 50 more local sites coming online this fall.

Price-sensitive motorists are flocking to the Internet to shave their gas bills — and, perhaps equally important, for the psychological satisfaction of knowing they have some control over what they pay.

"I'm cheap. I'm not paying more for something than I have to," said Christina Klein, 40, who uses the Philadelphia site daily and doesn't mind driving a little out of her way if it means saving a few pennies per gallon.

The GasBuddy network surveys an average of 150,000 stations per week in all the U.S. states and Canada. At phillygasprices.com, volunteers check hundreds of Philadelphia-area gas stations per week and post their findings on the Web; prices are automatically sorted from lowest to highest.

When gas shot up to more than $2 a gallon earlier this summer, traffic to the GasBuddy sites increased sevenfold, to about 500,000 unique visitors a week, Toews said. It has since dropped to 150,000 to 200,000 a week — although that could spike again if gas prices rise, as many analysts expect.

Another Internet site, for-profit GasPriceWatch.com, reported even greater traffic, peaking at 300,000 visitors on June 6 alone.

"Our participation is directly proportional to the price of gasoline," said Brad Proctor, founder of GasPriceWatch.com.

The Web sites work similarly, relying on volunteers to report prices and advertisers to either pay the bills or turn a profit. Visitors enter their zip codes to find prices at nearby stations.

About 270,000 people have registered as volunteer gas price reporters for GasBuddy. Some people post prices once or twice a month, while others are fanatical about the site, reporting every day, Toews said.

Centerville, Ohio-based GasPriceWatch.com said it has more than 100,000 price spotters.

Gas prices are influenced by a complex array of factors, including supply and demand, the price of crude oil, refinery costs, taxes, and competition among gas station owners, so it's unlikely that the Web sites have much of an effect on pricing. In Pennsylvania alone, hundreds of thousands of motorists pump more than 10 million gallons of gas into their cars, trucks and SUVs each day, dwarfing the relatively small number of people who frequent the pricing sites.

Holly Tuminello, vice president of the Petroleum Marketers Association of America, a trade group of 8,000 independent gas stations, said she doubted that gas station owners relied on the Internet to check competitors' prices and set their own accordingly. The price of gas changes so frequently that price reports more than 24 hours old are likely outdated, she said.

But Tuminello said the sites still perform a valuable service — and she doesn't blame motorists for using them. "Good for them. These prices are high and everybody loves a bargain," she said.

Cindy Reimel, 43, a corporate accountant who occasionally reports prices for phillygasprices.com, figures she and her husband save nearly $10 a month by using the Internet to shop for gas, out of a total monthly bill of $200 to $300.

"I need to fill up once every five days and I have a minivan that takes a lot of gas," said Reimel, who drives 20 miles to work. "I'll take a different route if the gas is cheaper."
__

On the Net:

GasBuddy Organization: http://www.gasbuddy.com

GasPriceWatch: http://www.gaspricewatch.com

Petroleum Marketers Association: http://www.pmaa.org

then go out with him

2004-08-21T18:09:00.000-04:00
"I asked this one girl out and she said, 'You got a friend?'
I said yes, she said, 'Then go out with him'" --Dom Irrera

Ouch.

Army Boob Jobs

2004-08-21T17:46:00.000-04:00
Linda sent this and I saw it on Yahoo I think. I don't believe it.
I have never touch a breast with silicon in it. Can you tell?
Kids your body is a temple, don't cut it up for any non medical reason.
Go Mary Carey. Right on.

Boobies not bullets

Los Angeles - A group led by porn star Mary Carey took to
the streets of Hollywood Wednesday to protest against a
U.S. military policy offering free breast implants to
female soldiers. "I think girls should have natural boobs
and natural beauty," Carey said after unveiling her own
breasts in the protest at an Army recruiting office on
Sunset Boulevard. Carey's words evoked cheers from the
group of men who had gathered to take in the event. Pass-
ing cars blew their horns in response to a sign reading
"Honk if you love natural breasts." The protest was organ-
ized by Mark Kulkis, president of Kick Ass Pictures, the
company for whom Carey stars. He and Carey handed a $500
check to Jennifer Zandstra from Texas, who was honorably
discharged from the U.S. Army and answered a Kick Ass
announcement looking for military women against breast
implants.

Bank robbers dont marry

2004-08-21T17:44:00.000-04:00
from Tina who should know:

Middleton, Ohio - Ohio police said an accused bank robber's
carefully laid plans went awry when his ex-wife spotted him
driving down the road after his crime. Authorities are
crediting the former spouse with helping them quickly solve
the Monday bank heist at the Fifth Third Bank. It just so
happens Daniel Waggoner's former wife was going to the same
bank when she passed him and found it closed because of a
robbery. So, she went to another branch and told the teller
her ex-husband -- who had gotten out of prison last year
for bank robbery -- passed her on the road heading out of
town and her suspicions were raised, police said. Waggoner,
31, of Xenia, was picked up a few hours later and eventually
led police to the stash of money hidden along a creek bed
under a rock, Hensley said. He's being held under $100,000
bond pending an Aug. 25 preliminary hearing.

Just kidding Tina.

cow art

2004-08-21T17:38:00.000-04:00
Jennifer sent this. Speaking of nice udders. mmmm Jennifer.

Oops sorry. I was reading that agrarian agarin societies agriculture uh big groups of people that grow plants instead of hunt and gather food have lots of low quality food. The people are miserable because of the poor food and backbreaking work to get it. But the group on the whole can lots of people the dont do anything like well demoncrats. Sooo here is what you get:

Stockholm - Organizers of the CowParade art exhibit are
none-too-happy that one of their fiber-glass cows has been
kidnapped by Swedish graffiti artists. The kidnappers held
power drills to the sculpture's head and threatened to
"sacrifice" it unless the cows were deemed "non-art." A
video was sent to a newspaper that showed the cow flanked
by two masked figures holding power drills in front of a
sign reading "Stockholm's Militant Graffiti Artists." "We
demand that the cows are declared non-art. Otherwise the
hostage will be sacrificed," said a voice on the video. The
artists gave the CowParade organizers until noon on August
23 to go along with their demand. "We are very upset about
the whole matter," said Helena Cederberg, a spokeswoman for
CowParade, which is described as "the world's largest public
art event." Police are currently investigating the case of
the missing cow.

Bear drinking beer

2004-08-21T17:35:00.000-04:00
Orlando sent this. No not the bloom guy. They made him out to be a bad er tough guy in that ring movie did they not? Anyway...

As Hibernation Season Begins Early For This Bear...

Seattle - I bet he could hardly 'bear' the hangover. Sorry,
bad joke. What isn't a joke is this story about a black bear
who wandered onto a campground in Washington state, and like
any normal male, zeroed in on the coolers filled with cans of
beer. After using his claws and teeth to open the beer, the
hard-drinking bear managed to finish off three dozen cans.
"We noticed a bear sleeping on the common lawn and wondered
what was going on until we discovered that there were a lot
of beer cans lying around," said Lisa Broxson, a worker at
the Baker Lake Resort, 80 miles northeast of Seattle. After
trying a mass-market Busch beer, he apparently switched to
Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with that for his binge.
Wildlife agents were able to set a trap for the bear, and
he was captured for relocation.

Wonder what brand?

Only in Maine

2004-08-21T17:34:00.000-04:00
Maine

In Portland, it is illegal for men to tickle women under the
chin with feather dusters.

The most money one can legally win gambling is three dollars.

In Rumford, it is illegal for a tenant to bite his/her land-
lord.

In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.