success of Mel Gibsons movie
"Because of the success of Mel Gibson's movie, CBS has decided
to rebroadcast its TV movie from 2000 called, 'Jesus.' And Fox
has a special called, 'When Apostles Attack.'" --Jay Leno
***
"You've done such a nice job decorating the White House."
--Singer and reality TV celebrity Jessica Simpson commenting
to Interior Secretary Gale Norton at a White House luncheon.
***
One finds the most romantic people at home improvement
centers. My son was helping a couple purchase a new door
for their home. After he asked what size they needed, the
stumped husband yelled clear across the store to his wife
in home supplies, "Honey, c'mon over here and see which
one of these door you can fit through!"
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress
warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife
asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the eggs
home.
***
We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when
others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far
enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus
reached what we now know as America. While there are still a
few who believe Columbus returned to Spain and told Queen
Isabella that he discovered a new world, most believe he had
told her he had reached India. Recently documents written by
Queen Isabella's official scribe were uncovered revealing what
Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage.
His first words were, "I'll bet I'm the first man who ever
got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon."
[Before anyone starts sending in emails, yes, I know that
most educated people knew the world was round long before
Columbus sailed. Even the ancient Greeks suspected the
shape of the Earth from observing lunar eclipses. But, hey,
I didn't write the joke! If you're still curious you can
look here: http://octopus.gma.org/space1/nav_map.html ]
Credit clean la ffs To SUBSCRIBE:
http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/sub-jokes.html
to rebroadcast its TV movie from 2000 called, 'Jesus.' And Fox
has a special called, 'When Apostles Attack.'" --Jay Leno
***
"You've done such a nice job decorating the White House."
--Singer and reality TV celebrity Jessica Simpson commenting
to Interior Secretary Gale Norton at a White House luncheon.
***
One finds the most romantic people at home improvement
centers. My son was helping a couple purchase a new door
for their home. After he asked what size they needed, the
stumped husband yelled clear across the store to his wife
in home supplies, "Honey, c'mon over here and see which
one of these door you can fit through!"
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress
warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife
asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the eggs
home.
***
We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when
others believed it was flat and that if you traveled far
enough you would go over the edge. We also know that Columbus
reached what we now know as America. While there are still a
few who believe Columbus returned to Spain and told Queen
Isabella that he discovered a new world, most believe he had
told her he had reached India. Recently documents written by
Queen Isabella's official scribe were uncovered revealing what
Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage.
His first words were, "I'll bet I'm the first man who ever
got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon."
[Before anyone starts sending in emails, yes, I know that
most educated people knew the world was round long before
Columbus sailed. Even the ancient Greeks suspected the
shape of the Earth from observing lunar eclipses. But, hey,
I didn't write the joke! If you're still curious you can
look here: http://octopus.gma.org/space1/nav_map.html ]
Credit clean la ffs To SUBSCRIBE:
http://www.gophercentral.com/sub/sub-jokes.html
