Real Job Definitions
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Real Job Definitions...
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
Real Job Definitions...
An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
