Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
A man attempting to set up his new printer called the tech
support number, complaining about the error message:
"Can't find the printer."
On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in
front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find
it!
____________________________________________________________
***
"So much of what we call management consists in making it
difficult for people to work." --Peter Drucker
***
"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is
in having lots to do and not doing it." -Mary Wilson Little
***
"Canada is the vichyssoise of nations. Cold, half-French and
difficult to stir."
--Stu Keate, former Vancouver Sun publisher.
***
My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated
cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she
was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get
moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum.
"I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a
book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided
to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was
working, I found the same darn book. I had bought it a couple
of years ago."
------------------------------------------------------------
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to
attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his
car-pool members to let them know that he would not be
leaving with them.
Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it
on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without
me. Dave."
At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this
note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You
drove, you idiot."
*-------------------------------*
hi , oddly enough i heard this joke from an evangelist in
a revival meeting im my local church.
There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler,
at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab,
run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at
several intersections in a row the motorist followed him
until he pulled into a parking lot.
When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again
jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The
motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey
but why do you keep banging on that door?"
To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have
20 tons of canarries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep
half of them flying at all times."
Thanx for the daily laughs I don't have to feel guilty about!
--Thomas. Spanaway, Wa.
------------------------------------------------------------
***
"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud,
but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without
doing any productive work or contributing anything to society,
my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry
***
Did you hear about the woman who went to the automotive store
to ask for a new dipstick, as the one in her car didn't reach
the oil?
***
"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."
[Thanks to the clever script writers on the television show
CHEERS for this one.]
support number, complaining about the error message:
"Can't find the printer."
On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in
front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find
it!
____________________________________________________________
***
"So much of what we call management consists in making it
difficult for people to work." --Peter Drucker
***
"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is
in having lots to do and not doing it." -Mary Wilson Little
***
"Canada is the vichyssoise of nations. Cold, half-French and
difficult to stir."
--Stu Keate, former Vancouver Sun publisher.
***
My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated
cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she
was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get
moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum.
"I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a
book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided
to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was
working, I found the same darn book. I had bought it a couple
of years ago."
------------------------------------------------------------
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to
attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his
car-pool members to let them know that he would not be
leaving with them.
Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it
on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without
me. Dave."
At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this
note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You
drove, you idiot."
*-------------------------------*
hi , oddly enough i heard this joke from an evangelist in
a revival meeting im my local church.
There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler,
at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab,
run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at
several intersections in a row the motorist followed him
until he pulled into a parking lot.
When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again
jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The
motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey
but why do you keep banging on that door?"
To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have
20 tons of canarries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep
half of them flying at all times."
Thanx for the daily laughs I don't have to feel guilty about!
--Thomas. Spanaway, Wa.
------------------------------------------------------------
***
"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud,
but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without
doing any productive work or contributing anything to society,
my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry
***
Did you hear about the woman who went to the automotive store
to ask for a new dipstick, as the one in her car didn't reach
the oil?
***
"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."
[Thanks to the clever script writers on the television show
CHEERS for this one.]
