For some reason I was thinking about college the other day.
Prada Fashion
For some reason I was thinking about college the other day.
My freshman year I took Composition 101 and learned valuable
writing skills like how to squeeze out another page by adding
one and a half inch margins and how to pad my bibliographies.
But one day kind of stands out in my mind...
I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before so I wasn't quite
as attentive as usual when the instructor gave the assignment,
"Write a 3-5 page expository paper on Euthanasia."
When I got the assignment back two weeks later this note was
at the top, "C. This is a good paper on the challenges facing
young people in China, , but I felt I had to deduct an
entire grade because you completely misinterpreted the assign-
ment."
What! Is is Monday already? It seems like just 48 hours ago
it was Friday. That's what happens when you keep yourself
busy with going to picnics, swimming and motorcycle riding
all weekend. It's nice to be back at work. I could use the
rest.
***
"I went to see Pavarotti once and I'll tell you this much,
he doesn't like it when you join in." --Mick Miller
***
"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to
use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know
how to use my telephone"
--Bjarne Stronstrup (originator of C++ programming language)
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his
children and immediately started to assemble it with all
the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting
to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and
called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in
a short while had the set completely assembled.
It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together
without even reading instructions."
"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read,
and when you can't read, you've got to think."
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at
Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess
hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he
sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this
mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked,
"What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other
instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill
Sergeant!"
-----------------
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.
One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag
a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting
work; the guys were getting tired just watching.
Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and
they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders
and get a better view of their wives working.
This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ulti-
mately led to television...and later to the remote control.
[From Dave Barry.]
***
When I was a kid, we walked 10 miles to school every day,
sometimes in the rain or snow. Man, did we feel stupid when
we found out there was a bus.
***
A teenage boy to his father... "Here's my report card and a
list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high
school." --Charles Almon in The Wall Street Journal
***
"I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I
say, 'Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I
saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.'"
-Steven Wright
------------------------------------------------------------
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change,
and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave
me the wrong change!"
"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier.
"We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing
I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."
"Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like
to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."
For some reason I was thinking about college the other day.
My freshman year I took Composition 101 and learned valuable
writing skills like how to squeeze out another page by adding
one and a half inch margins and how to pad my bibliographies.
But one day kind of stands out in my mind...
I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before so I wasn't quite
as attentive as usual when the instructor gave the assignment,
"Write a 3-5 page expository paper on Euthanasia."
When I got the assignment back two weeks later this note was
at the top, "C. This is a good paper on the challenges facing
young people in China, , but I felt I had to deduct an
entire grade because you completely misinterpreted the assign-
ment."
What! Is is Monday already? It seems like just 48 hours ago
it was Friday. That's what happens when you keep yourself
busy with going to picnics, swimming and motorcycle riding
all weekend. It's nice to be back at work. I could use the
rest.
***
"I went to see Pavarotti once and I'll tell you this much,
he doesn't like it when you join in." --Mick Miller
***
"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to
use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know
how to use my telephone"
--Bjarne Stronstrup (originator of C++ programming language)
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his
children and immediately started to assemble it with all
the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting
to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and
called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in
a short while had the set completely assembled.
It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together
without even reading instructions."
"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read,
and when you can't read, you've got to think."
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at
Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess
hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he
sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this
mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked,
"What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other
instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill
Sergeant!"
-----------------
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.
One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag
a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting
work; the guys were getting tired just watching.
Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and
they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders
and get a better view of their wives working.
This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ulti-
mately led to television...and later to the remote control.
[From Dave Barry.]
***
When I was a kid, we walked 10 miles to school every day,
sometimes in the rain or snow. Man, did we feel stupid when
we found out there was a bus.
***
A teenage boy to his father... "Here's my report card and a
list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished high
school." --Charles Almon in The Wall Street Journal
***
"I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I
say, 'Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I
saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it.'"
-Steven Wright
------------------------------------------------------------
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change,
and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave
me the wrong change!"
"Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier.
"We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing
I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank."
"Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like
to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."
