For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve
Boy howdy, it's only the third week in September and it's
starting to get cold out already. It was down to 50 degrees
this morning. And you know what that means -- it's time to
cram in as much gol...I mean, tennis as possible before the
grass starts to freeze.
Toward that end I have been trying to organize a game for
this afternoon. The regulars are all in, except for Jay. His
mother is supposedly coming over to his house for dinner,
but I think he's still afraid to lose a lunch to me.
Anyway, I asked Sean, one of the customer service guys who I
know loves to play g...tennis (ahem). "What say there, Arnold
Palmer, want to go whack some balls around after work?"
"No can do, Kimosabe," he said, "my pockets are running a
little shallow this week."
"Oh, come on! It's only Thursday. Don't tell me you blew your
entire paycheck on beer and frozen pizzas already!"
Sean shook his head. "No, I'm trying to pay off my stupid
Visa. I bought a new set of clubs last month and maxed out
my card."
I stopped. "You're telling me that you can't afford to play
tennis because you're trying to pay off a brand new set of
tennis clubs?"
"That's about the size of it."
"Son," I said condescendingly, "You've got your priorities
all screwed up."
"Yeah," he answered, "but they're a REALLY nice set of clubs!"
***
""For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve
the quality of life, please press 3." --Alice Kahn
***
"The shortest distance between two points is usually under
construction." --Wayne H.
***
"I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it.
I don't know when I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But
I've seen the boss's job, and I don't want it." -Bill Cosby
------------------------------------------------------------
As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over
his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was
startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in
and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for
the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a Principal the previous year
had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate
than that at Fort Knox.
Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do
you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to
let the teachers take things without requisitions?"
The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with
the children, don't we?"
------------------------------------------------------------
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother and found a water pistol. He squealed with de-
light and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you
remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."
[Thanks again to Joy Hathaway. You want me to just start
sending you my introduction, Joy? Then you can publish my
newsletter?]
*------------- ---------------*
The proprietor of a successful optical shop was instructing
his son on how to charge a customer.
"After you have fitted the customer's glasses," he said, "and
he asks you what the charge will be, you say, '$10.' Then see
if he winces."
"If the customer doesn't wince you say, 'For the frames. The
lenses will be another $10.'"
"If he still doesn't wince you say firmly, 'Each.'"
clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes funny story clean funny joke clean funny joke funny headlines funny story funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes v
starting to get cold out already. It was down to 50 degrees
this morning. And you know what that means -- it's time to
cram in as much gol...I mean, tennis as possible before the
grass starts to freeze.
Toward that end I have been trying to organize a game for
this afternoon. The regulars are all in, except for Jay. His
mother is supposedly coming over to his house for dinner,
but I think he's still afraid to lose a lunch to me.
Anyway, I asked Sean, one of the customer service guys who I
know loves to play g...tennis (ahem). "What say there, Arnold
Palmer, want to go whack some balls around after work?"
"No can do, Kimosabe," he said, "my pockets are running a
little shallow this week."
"Oh, come on! It's only Thursday. Don't tell me you blew your
entire paycheck on beer and frozen pizzas already!"
Sean shook his head. "No, I'm trying to pay off my stupid
Visa. I bought a new set of clubs last month and maxed out
my card."
I stopped. "You're telling me that you can't afford to play
tennis because you're trying to pay off a brand new set of
tennis clubs?"
"That's about the size of it."
"Son," I said condescendingly, "You've got your priorities
all screwed up."
"Yeah," he answered, "but they're a REALLY nice set of clubs!"
***
""For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve
the quality of life, please press 3." --Alice Kahn
***
"The shortest distance between two points is usually under
construction." --Wayne H.
***
"I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it.
I don't know when I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But
I've seen the boss's job, and I don't want it." -Bill Cosby
------------------------------------------------------------
As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over
his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was
startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in
and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for
the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a Principal the previous year
had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate
than that at Fort Knox.
Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do
you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to
let the teachers take things without requisitions?"
The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with
the children, don't we?"
------------------------------------------------------------
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his
grandmother and found a water pistol. He squealed with de-
light and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.
I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you
remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."
[Thanks again to Joy Hathaway. You want me to just start
sending you my introduction, Joy? Then you can publish my
newsletter?]
*------------- ---------------*
The proprietor of a successful optical shop was instructing
his son on how to charge a customer.
"After you have fitted the customer's glasses," he said, "and
he asks you what the charge will be, you say, '$10.' Then see
if he winces."
"If the customer doesn't wince you say, 'For the frames. The
lenses will be another $10.'"
"If he still doesn't wince you say firmly, 'Each.'"
clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes funny story clean funny joke clean funny joke funny headlines funny story funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes v
