Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?
"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character." --Oscar Levant, American composer, pianist and author
"Even Bach comes down to the basic suck, blow, suck, suck,
blow..." --Mouth organist Larry Adler
His performance is so wooden you want to spray him with
Liquid Pledge." --Movie critic John Stark
The following are a few letters sent to Abigail Van Burin
(Dear Abby) that she herself admitted she was at a loss to
answer:
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language
and violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would
a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against
his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it.
Now, how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
Walking downtown one day, I noticed that a music store had
just opened. Inside the shop, my attention was caught by a
huge Oriental gong, and I went up to take a closer look.
The gong was four feet in diameter. On a rope next to it
hung a two-foot-long mallet with a top the size of a soft-
ball. A piece of notebook paper bearing one word in large
letters was taped to the center of the gong.
The word was "NO!"
[From Reader's Digest.]
While working as an airline customer-service agent, I got a
call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her
dog on board.
I told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50
charge and provided her own kennel. I further explained
that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to
stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over.
"I'll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!"
the customer complained.
funny story clean funny joke clean funny joke funny headlines funny story funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes
"Even Bach comes down to the basic suck, blow, suck, suck,
blow..." --Mouth organist Larry Adler
His performance is so wooden you want to spray him with
Liquid Pledge." --Movie critic John Stark
The following are a few letters sent to Abigail Van Burin
(Dear Abby) that she herself admitted she was at a loss to
answer:
Dear Abby, What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language
and violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would
a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against
his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it.
Now, how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
Walking downtown one day, I noticed that a music store had
just opened. Inside the shop, my attention was caught by a
huge Oriental gong, and I went up to take a closer look.
The gong was four feet in diameter. On a rope next to it
hung a two-foot-long mallet with a top the size of a soft-
ball. A piece of notebook paper bearing one word in large
letters was taped to the center of the gong.
The word was "NO!"
[From Reader's Digest.]
While working as an airline customer-service agent, I got a
call from a woman who wanted to know if she could take her
dog on board.
I told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50
charge and provided her own kennel. I further explained
that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to
stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over.
"I'll never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!"
the customer complained.
funny story clean funny joke clean funny joke funny headlines funny story funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes funny headlines funny story clean jokes
